Little-used public footpath

By Rhiannonw

Fri, 07 Jun 2019
  • 852 reads
6 comments
 

The sky is blue, the clouds are white,
the wind is sharp, the day is bright:
rolling farmland, views afar,
isolated church to park the car;
little-used paths can sometimes lose
a few needed signs, to easily confuse
the rambling walkers on their way,
and then a ditch-bridge succumbed to decay
(cling to its side and sidle across,
deep nettles thriving, and a bush to bash)
a sign points diagonally through a crop –
we’ll follow the hedges to the top,
but the next field is vast – can’t go around,
there’s a sort-of narrow path, can’t see the ground
on the bumps I sway, don’t want to squash the wheat
so try not to wobble on unsteady feet!

 

Certificate U
Poem
Countryside explorations
Nature
Autobiography

Comments

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Sounds like you were walking through a maze across that field Rhiannon. I think you were very brave to attempt it.

I love the rhythm and rhyme, it gave an up tempo beat to your poem.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

smiley Yes, I felt almost as if I was on a wobbly boat, partly through attempting to put one foot in front of the other, not to bash too much wheat. My huband was 'finding the track' as much as he could, and seemed to make much quicker progress than me! We had seen a sign earlier about some path off the road closed due to a bridge being broken, but there were no signs the way we were going, but possibly it was actually the same bridge. Glad you enjoyed the walk! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

how DO  you make rhyme seem so effortless??? :0)

I love side and sidle too. Like when you had shell and shelter in a previous poem, you illuminate language, it's like you find another dimension or extra sparkle for words?

The rhythm does sound very brisk on this walk! Only, why did you bash the bush?

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Ah, I'm sorry, maybe 'bash the bush' was a little strong, but we had to bend it hard to get on to what was left of the 'ditch-bridge'. It was elder, I think that was thriving since the bridge wasn't being used (much) – I don't think we actually damaged or killed it!

Thank you for your comment and appreciation. I do like consonant patterns, including rhymes, when they seem to come naturally in a poem, even sometimes 'leading' it! We each have different forté, I guess, and its nice when our sharing is enjoyed. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Apart from Gerard Manley Hopkins and you I don't know anyone who does consonant patterns like this, I love it, how poetry can be about sound too, the gaps and speed and rhythm and consonants. You are a composer

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Maybe my writing is influenced by the Welsh language??? and its type of poetry. Rhiannon