A Snarl of Sunset

By Richard L. Provencher

Mon, 30 Jul 2012
  • 957 reads
4 comments
 

The smear of blood-red sky
sneaks a peek over the horizon
not anxious to meet the grave of night
blackness extinguishing
the light –

as feathers are shuffled
cries in the night bolder with the hunt
camping embers on its
last of warmth

brightness of sky is subdued
placed quietly at the end
of day – night begins.

© Richard L. Provencher

Certificate U
Poem
POETRY - A Passage of Motion 3
Nature

Comments

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
You certainly set the scene with this poem Richard, what an amazing sight that blood-red sky must have been. Bet you wrote this one from experience. Nice work. Jenny.

 

Submitted by Richard L. Prov... on
Thank you so much, Skinner. I do enjoy writing about Nature; surprise, surprise. This sunset caught my attention yesterday, and I need your bold advice. It is rare for me to use the same word/noun twice in any of my poems, and I have used 'night' three times. I could not find a reason to change them, and wonder what you think? Thanks, Richard.
Richard L. Provencher

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Hello Richard, I think it works okay, but then I suppose if you wanted to leave out night in one of the stanzas, you could say:- as feathers are shuffled cries in the darkness bolder with the hunt camping embers on its last of warmth But then I still think its fine as it is. Thanks for asking, I hope I've helped. Jenny.

 

Submitted by Richard L. Prov... on
Thank you, thank you, skinner---you seem quite happy with the way it is, although your alternative is also good---I'm going to defer to your confirmation. And leave as is. Merci, RLP
Richard L. Provencher