...and the High street stores are reporting record sales with a last minute surge by canny shoppers with an eye to a Christmas bargain...
'Everything just flew off the shelf's !'
said one relieved retailer.
'Recession? What recession ?' announced another.
...elsewhere sport has been affected by the ... sorry, we interrupt this bulletin with an urgent news flash by Middle East correspondent Uri Wiseman from Infinite Sky News Scoops.
'Uri, what can you tell us?'
'Well Paul, it's chaos here as you can see, it appears to be a drone strike, very, very, precise, hit one building only, a small stable with no damage reported elsewhere...'
'Anybody harmed in this attack Uri?'
'Thank goodness no, the Frankincense missile exploded sending tiny droplets of burning incense high in the air causing wide spread sneezing, coughing etc , one report said that a pregnant woman known locally as Mary who was in the stable at the time almost miscarried and broke her crib...'
'Broke her ribs?' Who is responsible for this Uri?'
'No, no Paul,a crib for the baby, not her ribs, ok, and no one has come forward yet to claim responsibility, but, a reliable source has indicated that this mission was planned well in advance of Christmas Eve...'
'A mission Uri ?'
'Yes, the name leaked was Mission Myrrh, part of Project Bright Star...the drone apparently disguised as a star had been tracking a camel trail believed to be carrying items that could possibly unstable the whole region...gold had been mentioned as a possible trigger...'
'...my source tells me that, they, them or whoever, had these camel trains under surveillance for years and years and witnessed over time a pattern emerging, a small party, mostly shepherds...'
'Anything else for us Uri?'
'Yeah...three dressed as Kings, positively identified as, In, Fin and Ite,all turning up at the the same time, Christmas Eve, same place and decided enough was enough and...'
' Uri, Uri, sorry, well, we appear to have lost that link for the moment, but moving on to other news now...wide spread flooding still remains a problem causing...
...news flash just in, it has been reported that London's Thames river Chelsey Flood barrier was successful in preventing more damage to...'