CC 103: The Sun Rising For The Rest Of Your Life

‘What are you doing?’ I asked.

Emer was up milling about at the edge of the mound, brushing her feet over the grass.

‘I’m looking for that skull we found – remember?’

‘Long gone, I’m sure.’

She got up on the ridge that overlooked the winding path, and she was bowed over as she hunted for the bone of the dead animal, and swinging her head from one area of inspection to another.  I could see she was still a bit out of it.  We both were.

‘Careful,’ I told her.  ‘You don’t want to fall.’

‘You’re right,’ she answered.  ‘I don’t want to.’

She came back to sit down, but she was enjoying her freedom of movement so much that she came over skipping and spinning like a little girl.

‘I must say I’m surprised that skull isn’t there anymore,’ she said.  ‘It’s about the only thing that has changed around here.’

‘I was just thinking the same thing.’

‘Nothing changes around here.’

‘Except for that pub on Park Street.’

‘Oh, yes.  That pub on Park Street.’

There was a pub on Park Street that had a new paint job at the front and changed its name every couple of months.  In the space of one year,  it had five different names.  They were:  Sarsfield’s, The Back Arse of Nowhere, Egon’s Bar, The Randy Dandy, Friskey’s.  I was only ever in the place when it was The Back Arse of Nowhere, and it was one of the biggest kips in town, but I heard that it was quite good when it was Sarsfield’s.

‘You know, for a long time, I thought you’d left Dundalk.  Thought you’d gone to Dublin or somewhere, or I don’t know, Australia.’

‘I had a couple of holidays.  I was in California for two weeks in the summer, and Amsterdam.  With Paidi.  But apart from that, I’ve been here all along.’

‘Actually I thought you might have left for good.’

‘No, I was fine staying here with the school job all those years.  And then a new opportunity arose, and I’m extremely happy with that.  So to have work that I like in the town, near my parents, is a great thing.  I can take all kinds of holidays with these jobs, as you know, so I can easily get away somewhere whenever I want to.  I don’t go with the whole ‘grass is greener’ thing.  Look at this grass here.  It’s as green as can be.’

‘Greener in Amsterdam though,’ I laughed.

‘Yes.’

She’d let it slip that she travelled with Paidi to the Venice of the North, and I wondered about it, what they got up to; pictures came of them strolling through the Van Gogh museum, smoking big joints in underground coffeeshops, nudging and winking at each other in the red light district before going back to their hotel.  I’d thought to push the discussion towards it and have her reveal more, but I kept my mouth shut, and hated the existence of Paidi discreetly.  There was no getting away from it.  She had to know that’s what I was thinking.  Fair play to her though.  She swerved around Amsterdam, and allowed me to preserve what dignity I had sitting there, in hiding, by her side.

‘What about you?  Any thoughts about leaving?’

‘I won’t lie to you, I’ve thought about it.  I dream about it.  But I’m an all-out coward.’

‘Well, you said it.  But it’s an option.  All the rest of your family have left.  Getting out of Dundalk would actually make more sense for you than it would for me.’

‘I suppose you’re right.  I’ve got nothing going for me here.’

‘Ah, well, I’m not saying that.’

‘Yeah, I know.’

The sky was blushing somewhat in the east, and it looked like the day would soon have its red eyeball on us, if it could penetrate those long matted trees that hemmed the castle in.  It would get in, it always did, so we had little to worry about in terms of dawn’s unfolding, and I was happy as Emer hadn’t left, and was there to watch it with me.  And even if she was to leave right that second, or if the sun was to scrap its schedule and fail to show on time, there were memories of shared sunrises that we had, which we could pat each other on the back about.  Think of all the couples out there who never quite got to that juncture in their relationships, to file that memory together; think of all those sunrises missed.  I’d suggest it to all married couples especially to get their sunrises out of the way early so that they have it in the bag, and can proceed with the separation and divorce without regrets about the sun rising for the rest of their lives.