Xena, Grunge Princess

An innocent little boy, with beautiful. short, blonde hair, woke up
one morning. His name was Kurt.

He ate his breakfast, frosted sugar with no nutrients. He wondered why
there was never real food around the house.

He turned on the television, looking for some fun. The TV show, a
sitcom, was full of violence, swearing and, worse, commercials designed
for the retarded. But this wasn't why Kurt turned the TV off. He turned
it off because there was no sex or adventure, the two things dear to a
boy's heart.
Kurt decided to read a good book about the history of Asia.

He had to brush his hair out of his face to see the pages. It seemed as
if his hair had grown a lot that morning!

But even though he tried hard, Kurt couldn't learn anything from the
book. It talked so much about things that didn't exist. These things
were called states, organizations, ideas, philosophies. Kurt had never
seen any of these things. "Do any of these things really exist?", he
asked himself.

Kurt put the book away in disgust. He had to get out of the
house!

Kurt walked out onto the sidewalk, which was coated with toxic sludge
from a nearby power plant. There was a three headed rattle-snake on the
pavement. There are so many mutant animals these days, Kurt
thought.

He was just walking away, to go to a girl named Xena's house, when the
snake rattled at him and bared all six of its fangs.

I'll teach him, thought Kurt. So he went away and made a bow and
arrow. Then he approached the snake. The rattlesnake rattled at him
furiously but calmly, he shot four arrows into the snake. The snake
writhed in pain, dying on the sidewalk.

Kurt was having fun, now. He pulled his hair back behind his ears. His
beautiful blonde hair hung down to his shoulders now. He wondered how
it had grown so long so fast!

As he walked toward Xena's house, he saw a beautiful purple Iris. He
picked it.

He knocked on the door. Xena opened the door and let him in. She was a
beautiful, brown haired girl with glowing, orb-like blue eyes. She was
only twelve and had very large breasts, which were accentuated by a
skin tight Nirvana shirt. In those days, there were a lot of artificial
hormones in the meat, which made girls sexual organs grow large at a
young age.

"Let's play," said Kurt as he eyed Xena lovingly. He handed her the
purple Iris and shyly, she took it and put it in her hair.

There was something wrong with Xena. She had three tits!