After the Heat Wave

Cherry

By Silver Spun Sand

Thu, 24 Jul 2014
  • 2018 reads
10 comments
 
Shadows whisper in the half-light of evening...
silver-strung rain scuppers the dust; the sun
devoured by the mouths of mounding clouds,
and a rose weeps at my touch.
 
The sun pales as I gaze – amber, through
yellow, then lemon...then rust – it does,
ever so slightly at the edges, and a blackbird
going home to roost, dreams of sleeping
on a bed made from stars.
  
A skylark climbs the ladder of its song
and the wind skulks like a leopard amongst
the trees.  Pipistrelles dip and dive.  The pond 
at dusk...Cimmerian; every darkness, 
blackly shining.
Certificate U
Poem
Silver Spun Sand Poems
Nature

Comments

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Ooh, Tina this is lovely!     Elsie

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Thanks, Elsie...muchlysmiley

Tina

 

Submitted by scratch on

Lovely overall images.  This I found less delightfully unctuous than the rest:

"ever so slightly at the edges, and a blackbird

going home to roost, dreams of sleeping"

The italicised words seem less economical and lack a little of the confidence of the rest.  Perhaps this?:

"ever so slightly at the edges, and a blackbird

homeward bound, dreams of sleeping"

Just simply my subjective opinion Tina, as usual your poetic voice is sonorous and inspiring.

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

scratch, as ever you are inspired, and I shall certainly think on your suggestions, so watch this spacesmiley

Forgive me for being so tardy in thanking you, but I have spent the whole day in the garden, most of it chasing magpies off my vegetable patch where they seem intent on pulling out, by the root, all my lettucessad.

Once again, many thankssmiley and I'm so very pleased you enjoyed.

Tina

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

A pleasure to read, Tina. Packed full as so often with your remembered images and metaphors. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Thank you, Rhiannon.  Thought this one might be, 'right up your street', as they saysmiley

Tina

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi Tina,

this was such a beautifully crafted poem,   had such a spiritual feel to it and I too loved all the metaphors too.

Very much enjoyed and thank you for sharing.

Jenny. 

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Hi there, Jenny, and first of all, let me apologise for not having got round to reading more of your wonderful story yet, which I notice you have posted.  I like to take time to sit down quietly and take them all in, and life is a bit hectic at present but hopefully tomorrow afternoon life will settle down a bit.

In the meantime, so very many thanks for reading and I am so pleased you enjoyedsmiley

Tina

 

Submitted by Bee on

'A skylark climbs the ladder of its song
and the wind skulks like a leopard amongst the trees' I found that so wonderfully original. Your poem captures the mood of the moment as much as describing the after heat wave conditions. Each stanza could be be a poem alone. I particularly liked (read loved) the first and last.

Bee

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Much appreciate your words, Bee.  Pleased you enjoyed so much and it was good of you to take the trouble to tell mesmiley

Tina