Running, Trisha

Trisha was running, running, and running. She had dreamt that she was partially nude. The hair around her clitoris was being combed by the breeze outside. There were people around her, laughing. Their faces were hidden by the darkness. She remembered that Freud had called these dreams "exhibition dreams." They were reproductions of the exhibitionist behavior of childhood. They were wish fulfillment dreams, perhaps of a desire to be as free as she was when she was a child? Did these dreams express a desire for regression, a desire to escape an overwhelming present situation by means of extended childish behavior? Her dream, she thought, was not simply a reproduction of childish exhibitionism. Her dreams told her the truth. She was glad that she still had her dreams to rely on. Yes, they were invaluable to her since God was silent. Her superiors in the CIA had set her up. They had never believed that she heard the voice of God. They had probably concluded that she worked for the Jewish Spy Service. Her cell, consisting of one agent from DI (Directorate of Intelligence), and three agents from CS(Clandestine Services, herself included) had completely mislead her about Gabriel. No one had cleaned up Timothy.

Running, running, and running. Sometimes she wished that she was a horse, running in the wind, her hair flowing back, a signature of her freedom. Was this the meaning of her life so far? Were people so afraid of her that they had to treat her like this? Yes, they would come after her. But then, they were not quite sure what they should do at this point. Their moles would have to report back to them.

Trisha took a shower. She wanted to wash herself clean of all her past. She wanted to empty herself. She could feel her ego forming again. She had just let go....

She went to the living room and began to meditate in lotus position.

"Are you Buddhist?" Gabriel asked, looking at her sleepily.

"No, I'm Jewish."

"You don't find that to be contradictory?"

"There are no pagan idols in front me. I'm just reading my own thoughts through meditation."

"You can do that without being in that position."

"It makes it a bit easier to focus."