The Searcher 4

Is it, was it the pain that he was feeling that led him to the search for spirituality? Why was he feeling this pain? Was it the pain of rejection, of loneliness, and of being lost? He started to cry again as he was walking through the desert. The sun was burning his skin. He felt incredibly dry. Any moment now, he felt that he was going to faint. It's horrible, he thought. Then he fell into the sand, face down.

He could taste the sand in his mouth. It felt terrible. His mouth was getting dryer and dryer and he thought that he would surely die. Surely he was now dying. All this life, he had fed on the flesh. Sensuality was his religion. Sensuality fed his senses and made everything pleasurable. He felt like he was eating everything and feeding everything. But in the end, it made him very dry. He lusted after things and women, and yet nothing satisfied. Then, he was dry all the time. He felt nothing. He knew nothing. He dreamt of dying without water. 

Now he was seeking something to quench his thirst. He felt something on his nose. Oh yes, that felt cool. Water was dropping on his nose. He opened his eyes and he saw a woman dropping water from a cup on his nose.

-Let me drink from the cup.

I held the cup and started to drink. I spit out the drink along with the wet sand. I tried to wash out the sand from my mouth with the water. It felt good. It was time to go on.

-Who are you?

- I am a woman.

-You are very kind to give me this water. Why didn't you just let me die?

-You looked like you want to live. You've just been living the wrong way. What are you doing in the desert?

-I started running and I ended up in the desert. 

-What are you running from?

-My loves. They are tearing me apart.