A Father's Christmas...

A Father’s Christmas

Christmas arrives when it is still summer:

Who buys stuff so early: are they dumb or dumber?

Christmas is not the season of Christ or goodwill;

Christmas is entirely about cash in the till.

Then there’s mad office parties you’ve been loudly reviling

‘Cause you’re pinned in the corner by Mandy from filing

And the children they ask for what you cannot afford;

All year they have pestered, all year you’ve ignored.

On the day you’ve got turkey and mother-in-law

You’ve dodged her for months but you can’t any more

Lunch has been eaten, sit down and relax…

Oh no! Brian next door has come round for some snacks

His plasma TV’s got very poor reception…

‘Be nice to him today, love’, (and make an exception)

He stays until midnight, you’re dying for bed

Then he leaves in a huff ‘cause of something you said

Now it’s boxing day morning, a lie-in would be great

But the dog’s just been sick – it’s something he ate,

Some toys have been broken, the hoodies don’t fit

That skirt was too tight and now it has split…

And the missus is insisting that you go to the sales

‘Cause the present you gave her: well let’s just say it fails…

But wait till the twelfth day when you take down the holly…

Everything’s over – now you can start feeling jolly!