Moonlight Swim

By stootska

Mon, 08 Oct 2007
  • 879 reads
2 comments
 

The moonlight blankets us in the dark
The water caresses us in the shadows
Nothing but a thin veil separates us
His eyes wanting
His lips summoning
He moves against me
Hands begin to explore
His lips call to me no more
Fire explodes between us
The dance of intimacy erupts
Every emotion affected
I never felt a touch before him
I never knew a kiss before him
I never have enough of him.

11-01-2003

Certificate U
Poem
Poetry
Love

Comments

Submitted by lisa h on
Hi Stootska, This is a really powerful poem. And the last three lines drive the point home - very effective. Do you mind if I make a suggestion (feel free to ignore me!)? Lisa x This line: Hands begin to explore Would sound better like this: Hands explore But... you might consider dropping this line altogether. To me, it reads out of place. And surely, if you've got past the roving hands at this point?!

Submitted by stootska on
Thanks for the advice. You are right about the line.