Something That Mattered

Something That Mattered

When did I last do something that mattered? I mean really mattered, not just to me or family, I’m not sure that I ever have.
Take today, sure I shuffled some papers, paid a few bills, made tea and talked to the gardener, the cleaner and the spouse.
Ok, so my family are fed, the dogs well walked and groomed, my ferrets had a wonderful day but ‘hey, so what?’

How did I affect the world today? Well, let’s be honest, not one jot, smidgeon, iota, not a ripple or a single flap of a wing.
I read, I organised, I compromised, I spent a day doing things of my choice, my own necessity and for those of my pack.
But did I make waves, save lives, help, inspire or create?
did I alter the way of things, the future, the thoughts of many?

Does it matter if I’ve improved, developed, absorbed, existed?
whose day or life did I touch or nudge or change for the good?
Remove me from the planet, what happens? Nothing I’ll bet
Look for me in a history book in time to come, I won’t be there
Google me, my face is on the book, I’ve reunited with friends
but as far as the net’s concerned, I don’t exist and never have.

When my Uncle Bill said, ‘whatever you do, do something that
matters, something that helps’, I thought ‘what do you know?’
You’re always drunk, being boorish and rude and anyway,
my job at the time selling something or other was crucial to me.
He was of course right, I should have learnt to help people,
nurse, teach, fire fight, serve the country, make a difference
.
But I didn’t, Oh I know it’s not too late, I’m not that old
I can still venture out, take a risk, cast off my shackles.
Problem is, I don’t want to, I quite like being me
keeping me and mine happy, healthy and carefree
Fact of the matter is I’m selfish; I take all that I can
I drink art, music, beauty and put nothing back in

I kid myself that appreciation is a good contribution
that getting help when I need it is my right cos I’ve paid
Will I change?, I doubt it, I’m always too busy, too smug
‘Well, I’ve highlighted it, that’s a start’, I can hear myself say
But I have decided, that I’ll do something that matters
and I’ll start tomorrow or at the latest next week

Something that matters, I mean really matters and not just to me
something that matters and maybe I’ll set myself free