Smokin' on the porch
By Sweet T Marie
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Smoke on a porch
I’m kissing the bottle
Asking “why I can’t be a model?”
Roles that are meant to be broken
Rules that are left unspoken.
I’ll spend hours in my own brain
Crying in fear that all will remain.
Because I’m so scared of change
Spend the weekend in lush,
Just to feel a sense of temporary rush.
I’ll look deep into the night
Searching for reasons why I don’t feel right.
Then you come to me quietly,
Whispering of sadness so silently,
Your bitter murmurs musing of sorrow.
I shook off the feeling, “we’ll deal with this tomorrow”
Sipping on a bottle of Hennesy
Wondering, “why you’re so dear to me?”
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Comments
Hi - I'm only just catching
Hi - I'm only just catching up with your work so a belated welcome to ABC Tales!
I liked the ambiguity of this. The 'other' is not named, and the relationship and circumstances undefined, so readers in many situations can identify with it. I'm not a poet, so I'm afraid I can't offer any helpful critiques on structure or punctuation. I think your imagery works well, though - the ambiguity is a reflection of the smoke itself.
Looking forward to seeing more!
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