Smokin' on the porch

Smoke on a porch
I’m kissing the bottle
Asking “why I can’t be a model?”
Roles that are meant to be broken
Rules that are left unspoken.
I’ll spend hours in my own brain
Crying in fear that all will remain.
Because I’m so scared of change
Spend the weekend in lush,
Just to feel a sense of temporary rush.
I’ll look deep into the night
Searching for reasons why I don’t feel right.
Then you come to me quietly,
Whispering of sadness so silently,
Your bitter murmurs musing of sorrow. 
I shook off the feeling, “we’ll deal with this tomorrow”
Sipping on a bottle of Hennesy
Wondering, “why you’re so dear to me?”