Kit Handsome and the busy day at the Big Hotel 6

“Sorry to interrupt guv, and other guv, but we’ve found four garden gnomes and a tortoise. We believe them to be suspicious.”

“Speedy!” said Kit in surprise.

“Speedy?” said Anderson.

“Mrs Wemborne’s missing tortoise. She lost it on Wednesday. Where did you find it?”

“In Room 794.” Wilson started checking his notes for details.

“I know Room 794. That’s Theobold’s room. He’s here for a conference, but has a track record of petty theft.”

“You think it’s connected?” said Anderson.

“No, Theobold is a known drunken prankster and petty thief. But it won’t do any harm to arrest him for the tortoise, get him out the way, we don’t need a drunken gnome thief running riot during a murder investigation.

“I’ll co-ordinate operations from the breakfast room for the time being, it’s not being used now the buffet’s closed. You interview Theobold, and update me when your finished.

Kit was given a lift back to the police station by one of Anderson’s squad and went straight into the interview room.

“So, Theobold,” said Kit, “you brought your tortoise on holiday.”

“I’m saying nothing ‘til my lawyer gets here.”

“That’s fine, though this time we’ll charge you with theft. Enjoy the station coffee while you’re waiting.”

“Wait, I remember the coffee from last time. Let’s just get this over with.”

“Good. So where did you get the tortoise?”

“I don’t know. It probably broke in to my room.”

“Broke in! But a tortoise is only a few inches off the ground and the door lock is waist height.”

“He was probably sitting on a breakfast trolley.”

“So, the tortoise somehow ends up on a breakfast trolley outside your room, with a key card that fits your door, swipes the card, turns the handle, wheels his way into your room, and into the top drawer of your chest of drawers which he then closes behind him.”

The man paused to sip coffee. “God, this coffee is horrible,” he said with a grimace.

“Then help us,” said Kit. “We’re looking into a murder, we’re not going to go overboard on a tortoise theft.”

“Okay. I do know about the tortoise, but I didn’t steal it, I was just saving it. It had wandered into the road. It looked lost, so I thought I’d pick it up. I didn’t want it to get hurt by the traffic.”

“I see. And you decided to take it back to your hotel and keep it in one of the drawers. You really are an animal lover.”

“The drawer was ajar, it could breath and everything. And I bought a turnip for it to eat.”

“A turnip?”

“I wanted to get a lettuce, but they’re like gold since Brexit apparently.  Look I’ll pay for any inconvenience. I was just helping out the little fella.”

“Okay. And what about the gnomes. Did they wander into the road as well?”

“Gnomes? I thought you were investigating a murder.”

A fair point, thought Kit, but he didn’t say that.

“You’re going to be held here for up to 24 hours after which you will either be formally charged or released.”

“No. You mean I’m going to have to drink this coffee for a whole day.”

“You should think about that next time you go on a drunken gnome-hunt.”