One Wheel Too Few

Courier Company HR person: "Send the next candidate in please miss Jackson."

 

 

Courier Company HR person:  "Miss Spigott, I believe?"

 

Spigott: "Yes — Spigott by name, Spigott by nature."

 

Courier Company HR person:" Yes... if you'd like to remain motionless for a moment. Now, Miss. Spigott you are applying for the role of cycle courier"

 

Spigott: "That's right."

 

Courier Company HR person:  "I couldn't help noticing almost at once that you are a one-wheeled person."

 

Spigott:  "You noticed that?"

 

Courier Company HR person: "I noticed that, Miss Spigott. When you have been in the business as long as I have you come to notice these things almost instinctively. Now, Miss
Spigott, you, a one-wheeled woman, are applying for the role of cycle courier a role which, traditionally, involves the use of two wheels"

 

Spigott: "Correct."

 

Courier Company HR person: "And yet you, a unicyclist, are applying for the role."

 

Spigott: "Right."

 

Courier Company HR person: "A role for which two wheels would seem to be the minimum requirement."

 

Spigott: "Very true."

 

Courier Company HR person: "Well, Miss Spigott, need I point out to you where your deficiency lies as regards landing the role?"

 

Spigott:  "Yes, I think you ought to."

 

Courier Company HR person: "Yes perhaps I should. Need I say with overmuch emphasis that it is in the wheel division that you are deficient."

 

Spigott:  "The wheel division?"

 

Courier Company HR person: "Yes, the wheel division, Miss Spigott. You are deficient in it — to the tune of one. Your front wheel I like. I've got nothing against your front wheel. The trouble is — neither have you "

 

Spigott: "You mean it's inadequate?"

 

Courier Company HR person: "Yes, it's inadequate, Miss Spigott. People want to see their packages delivered by a courier with speed, grace and control, not one lurching around like a circus performer"

 

Spigott:  "I see."

 

Courier Company HR person: "However, don't despair. After all, you score over someone with no wheels at all."

 

Spigott: "So there's still a chance?"

 

Courier Company HR person: "There is still a very good chance. If we get no two-wheeled couriers in here within the next two months, there is still a very good chance that you'll land this vital job. Failing two-wheeled couriers you, a unicyclist, are just the sort of person we shall be attempting to contact telephonically."

 

Spigott: "Well... thank you very much." (Cycles out clumsily)