Phosphorous Pheobe and the luminous penis
Brian Hunter’s wife, Pheobe, worked in a factory, where she coated metal with phosphorous, so that it glowed luminous bright green in the dark.
Before the war, the factory had made mostly watches and clocks that could be seen at night.
However, the factory had been commissioned by the War Office and now produced luminous military equipment, the exact nature of which Pheobe didn’t know, as the metal parts she and her pals coated were assembled after they’d been coated.
When Hunter returned home on leave, he was in for a surprise. She had coated herself with the luminous substance, so when they undressed for bed that night, her breasts and other private parts were glowing brightly.
Hunter recounted the experience to his comrades when he returned to the line, in glorious, glow-in-the-dark detail.
“Didn’t that put you off?” one of his comrades had asked.
“Not at all,” he’d said, “On the contrary, I’ve never enjoyed it so much.” And, in order to prove how much he’d enjoyed the luminous delights his wife had offered up, he stripped off.
“In fact, I enjoyed it so much it’s rubbed off on me.” Sure enough, in the darkeness of the bunkhouse, he glowed an eerie green.
Now, it so happened that at that very moment, a German murder squad had cross no-man’s land for the purpose of taking out as many sleeping soldiers as they could. The German’s had charged into the bunkhouse, guns raised ready to shoot, only to see a green-glowing ghost dancing around, pointing excitedly to his green-glowing penis.
As one, the German soldiers screamed, turned and ran.