Starship Endeavour and the colonists

Captain's Log: The Starship Endeavour is on a five-year journey to explore new worlds, go where man has never been before, to just bugger off, get out of my hair, I'm sick of you slouching around the house all day (my wife is the Head of Mission Planning at Starfleet Control). Stardate 1073493182 (Friday)

Clegg: "Captain, I'm getting a signal from sector Alpha. Some bloke keeps on about it being May Day, but that's not for another four months.

Capt: "Brains, what do you think?"

Brains: "Mayday is the standard distress signal in the zone of United Federated Planets. What does the message say Clegg?"

Clegg: "He says they're a colony ship who had to land early due to an engine malfunction. The planet they've landed on doesn't have any food and their supplies will run out before they can plant and grow crops. They're asking us if we can send supplies."

Capt: "Brains, what do you think? Are we able to send supplies?"

Brains: "Negative captain. The ship's storage capacity is limited, we took enough food for the crew for five years and no spare. If we provided any food to the colonists it would mean that we would be unable to complete our five year mission."

At this point Fat Larry entered the Bridge eating a Jeff's pie.

Brains: "Captain, I must protest, there is an infringement of Starfleet Command Number 1437. Someone is eating on the Bridge, Captain."

Fat Larry: "But Captain, it's a Jeff's pie. You can hardly expect me to go five years without a Jeff's pie?"

Capt: "How many of these pies do you have?"

Fat Larry: "Enough for a five year mission."

Capt: "There you are Brains, we can help the colonists. We simply send them the five years supplies of Jeff's Pies."

Brains: "Illogical captain. We should keep all of the Jeff's pies and send the consequent excess supplies to the colonists."

Capt: "You're right Brains. Make it so. Thank goodness for Jeff's pies, they make a five year mission bearable.

This episode of Starship Endeavour was brought to you by Jeff's pies, the pie you'd cross a universe for.