Upbringing

By TJW

Sat, 18 Oct 2025
  • 677 reads
13 comments
 

Phone rings.

Number recognized.

"Sir."

"Hello, son."

"Hello, sir.  How are you?"

"I'm donig just fine.  I, uh, I just wanted to let you know that I'm proud of you for trying again."

---------

". . . thank you, sir."

"Yes, and I . . . I want you to know that it wasn't me.  It was your mama and your sissy.  I was proud of you, I am proud of you."

"I know, sir, thank you, sir."

"So . . . what are your planning for today?"

"Football, house chores, nothing special."

"That's right, that's right.  Take it easy."

"Yes, sir."

"Well . . . Roll Tide."

"Yes, sir, Roll Tide."

" . . . don't be too hard on yourself, son.  You've done your damndest."

--------------

"Yeah, yes, yes, sir."

"We'll talk again."

"Yes, sir."

"Goodbye, son."

"Goodbye, sir."

Certificate PG
Non-fiction

Comments

Submitted by insertponceyfre... on

It's all between the lines TJW. Welcome back!

 

Submitted by TJW on

Thank you also I go out for smoke waiting for my python to swallow his mouse and come back to this formality, it's TJ or Jack for you, what the hell?

 

Submitted by insertponceyfre... on

Some people prefer to keep to their usernames on ABCtales - no formality intended. How long does it take him? Please don't go into too much detail because I haven't eaten yet : )

 

Submitted by TJW on

Ah, hell, girl, you have called me Jack or TJ for who knows how long - App. 1 hr to chow down 2 adult mice.  He's old, 24 yrs, average life span of his snake species is 15 yrs in captivity.  He keeps hanging on.  In deference to your forthcoming meal I won't detail the offerings or consumption thereof.  I thought the phone conversation might be a good play.  A drama or the stage.  Gotta think about that.  I think it's harder for men to raise sons, hope I expressed that in this piece.  Mamas just love their kids.  Off to the shooting range with Jim Beam.  A shot between each shot.

Jack - remember that

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Your Python must be happy to live so long! My goldfish lived 30 something, and his (?) scales went white. Is there any sign how old your Python is? Do they get arthritis?
Telephone conversations seem a really good idea for a radio play, no distraction from emotion in the voices

 

Submitted by GlosKat on

There is a film called Locke, starring Tom Hardy, in which he is the only character.  He is in his car on his mobile, desperately making calls while his personal and professional lives unravel around him.  Might sound boring but it's absolutely riveting, inviting the viewers (or listeners rather) to use their own imaginations.

 

Submitted by TJW on

D (ear) H(oney), I'm not a herpetologist but in my experience snakes show slowing down by eating slower.  Not as as aggressive when they stike.  Pippin is what you would call an African Royal python but what we, on the other side of the big pond, call a Ball python.  All by babies are old.  I have a geriatric ward of babies.  Reptile and mammal.  I want to write a radio drama, or just a drama, a play, I think I'll work on that when I have the time.  I'm taking on two jobs so time will be sparse.  

Jack

 

Submitted by GlosKat on

So clever, so inventive. Less is more.  It's the writer's job to fire up the readers' imaginations, and you've certainly done that by presenting a framework for your readers to imagine their own back story.  I certainly did.

 

Submitted by TJW on

Well, end the suspense.  What did you imagine?

 

Submitted by GlosKat on

Hi Jack.  I'm basing it on an American military family, a Marine family on both sides.  The boy has grown up assuming he will go into the Marines. The first time he tries he fails Boot Camp.  His mother and his sister, who have done nothing much with their own lives and bask in the reflected glory and status of being in a Marines family, make no secret of the fact they consider him a failure, and put pressure on him to try again.

The second time he tries, he gets all the way through the first 3 phases and then fails in The Crucible. 

He has come home, physically shattered and emotionally demoralised, the day before the phone call. 

His mother has already rung him and told him she's embarrassed and ashamed. 

The phone rings again and he thinks it's his sister to say the same.  He nearly doesn't answer, but it's his father, an ex-Marine, who tells him he loves him (not in so many words, because they're both men) and he's proud of him for trying again and doing his best.

 

Submitted by TJW on

Two problems:  (1) on the whole you can't reenlist when you fail basic.  There are waivers but they are granted rarely and few and far between; (2) you chose the USMC over the Army.  That's just because of intradepartmental rivalry in the War Department.  I was Army.  So I'm prejudiced.  But it's your story.

 

Submitted by GlosKat on

That's just because of intradepartmental rivalry in the War Department – when I recently read  Samuel Hynes WWII memoir 'Flights of Passage'  I was shocked at just how bad that rivalry was.

I don't have the book here (I lent it to my 97 year old father who did his national service in the RAF at the end of the war) but I can remember Hynes saying that all the armed services disliked each other, and within each service there were subsets. The enlisted men disliked the officers.  The USMC infantry disliked the USMC pilots.  The USMC bomber pilots disliked the USMC fighter pilots.  And all vice versa. I couldn't understand how that could be, when they were all on the same side.

Is it still like that now ?

 

Submitted by TJW on

Uh fur muh tiv.  The reason the USMC basic is three weeks longer than the Army's is because they need the extra time to teach their recruits how to read.  Shit like that.  Yeah, we all follow the orders of the same C-in-C and we do JTF all day everywhere, but there's always the boast.  Marine, bitch, know what that means? - My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment.  And the Army uses you as fodder.   Clear the way so we can take the lead.