Virility

Tried to sweat out the sickness by increasing the reps of my morning PT.  Extra push ups sit ups pull ups squats lunges and jumps do more sweat more chug gallons of OJ and put extra counts in every push sit pull squat lunge jump so sit up touch left elbow to right knee and right elbow to left knee get a twist to work the obliques down yeah a single sit up is a four-count movement and make a plank down up down up - ONE so it goes, down, one, up two, down, three, up ONE so a single push up is a four-count movement yeah add counts to the movements and add extra movements and sweat the sickness out.  That was the plan.  Vitamin C and sweat.  Use strength to keep strong.  Very important to be strong.  Physical jobs keep me strong.  No good at working with my brain so I work with my body my strength my endurance.  Very important.  Could never be one of these guys who wear suits to the office and sit and desks.  Strength, damn it.  It’s everything.  Strength is protection is the ability to physically protect shield dominate.  Use my weight to exercise and proliferate my strength.  Never gonna be that guy with bulging muscles and a six pack.  Don’t want to be.  Just strong.  Keep trim and strong.  Never gonna be 6’0”, the height of the classic hero, will always be one mere inch below.  Strength.  Damn it.  It defines me.  Laboring with my hands my legs my body defines me.  What is a man if he is not strong?  What is a man if doesn’t have the strength to defend his home his family his country?  So I tried to use strength to sweat out work out suffer out the sickness.  Work out without equipment well except for the pull up bar and using only my weight yeah resistance training I think it’s called whatever it’s called it how I’ve been trained to do PT and it works out for me.  Counts in movements and increase the movements.  And chug the juice.  That was my plan.  Sweat resist resistance and sweating and lunging and squatting pulling and pushing up and down and side to side and sweating it all out the motherfucking sickness in my lungs and while I’m at it take some drugs and take them with 100 proof vodka because that’s what was in the glass and the glass was accessible and after the swallow and the burn and and   and  woke up to the rabbit scratching at the bedroom door.  How the fuck did I make it to bed?  Why the fuck did I close the door?  Woke up threw up coughed up less phlegm than before.  Feel stronger.  Gotta be strong.  Strength, damn it.  More than that.  Masculine strength.  Damn it.  It’s everything.  Affirm myself with strength.  My work affirms my strength.  Weakness will not be tolerated.  Strength.  Strength.

Strength.

Damn it.

Strength.