Cokes Jokes and Smokes

“Please wake up your friend there at the back.
“You wake him up Professor. You put him to sleep.”
 
“Hawkins is one of the most famous scientists in history and still living.”
“Why?”
 
“The problem with today's physicists is that they
don't know enough mathematics.
“Yes and the problem with today's mathematicians
is they don't know enough mathematics.”
 
Informal at a graduation ceremony
“We should grow our own timber.”
“We'll have to. This is a paper factory.”
 
“Why did you choose an academic career?
“It's better than working.”
 
They produce papers with the same ease that I go to the toilet.
And with the same result.
 
Engineering lecturer “In Heaven there is nó beer, that's why I drink it hére!”
 
The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.
 
University of Life, B.Sc (Booze Sex & cigarettes)
 
Notice Board
 
The Math School will be closed during Nuclear Attack
 
Notice in Javanese Hotel Room–
No smoking in bed or other disgusting behaviour
 
Old Boys CBC Clubhouse–
If you are drinking to forget please pay in advance