Time Gentlemen!

“What do you think of the institution of marriage?
“It is a good thing if you like living in an institution.”

The institution of holy monotony.
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When does a real man stop wanking?
When his wife leaves him.
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What do you call a widower remarrying?
The triumph of hope over experience.

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Elizabeth Taylor– “How many husbands have you had?
“You mean apart from my own?”
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Mae West– “A hard man is good to find.”
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Woody Allen– “If sex is dirty then you're probably doing it right.”

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“Did you ever smoke? “No. “I'm your man.”

“And the ear plugs and cotton wool stuffed up your nose grampa?”
“If there's one thing I hate more than the sound
of a woman screaming it's the smell of burning rubber.”

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“And how is your brother doing? “ He went to university he took medicine”.
Sorry to hear, is he feeling better?” 
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“I wondered why all those doctors were wearing masks,
until I received the accounts.”
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Psychologist: “What is the trouble?”
Patient: “It’s my memory.”
Psychologist: “And when did this trouble start?”
Patient: “What trouble?”
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It costs nothing to be polite to a man before you kill him. 
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Notice Board

The Math School will be closed during Nuclear Attack
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What is the difference between a lavatory and a coffin?
When you gotta go you gotta go!

Time Gentlemen! Bottoms Up!
Pay Up!