Careless Whispers

Careless Whispers By Lolleta Williams.

And another thing, did you hear about Daniel and Martha? You know the
whole office had that night away in Manchester ? Yaaa-big night out,
REALLY BIG, I had such a bad head the next day. Anyway, everyone else
got back to the hotel later and someone called the lift. The doors
opened like they do and there they were. Waaaaahh, they both had no
clothes on. You could see everything. It was so funny. It was like that
bit when you freeze a film on TV and go 'hang on I can't believe I
really saw that, and you press rewind.' They just didn't move, they
kind of just looked at us like shop window dummies. Poor little Daniel,
I felt really sorry for him. He suddenly just panicked and legged it
out of the lift stark bollock-naked, it was so funny, he looked really
silly. But the worst thing is Martha, what a bitch; she pressed the
button to close the doors. You should have seen Daniel's face. Martha
just took the lift back to her room with all his clothes. Then, Daniel
tried to open the doors again, he was really blushing, and the hotel
staff caught him on the security camera and apparently they put the
film on the internet! You should try to see it; it's so hilarious.
Everyone was laughing, Kate had tears running down her face, and poor
Daniel had to run right through the middle of us and up the steps. They
were those really wide marble steps and you could hear his feet
slapping really loudly on them as he ran up. Then, the funniest bit
was, he slipped on the top step and fell all the way down and knocked
himself out on the floor. It so was terrible. I nearly wet myself
laughing. It was so undignified for him. He was just lying there with
all of us in a big circle round him staring. It was really brightly lit
too, there was this massive chandelier shining down on him like at the
theatre or something. Someone covered his dignity up with the bell from
the reception desk. He looked so funny. When the ambulance came, they
just burst out laughing. I think he got into the local newspaper. But
you should hear the story about Jennifer, no hang on, Lara, Lara -
that's the best. I would tell it to you now only she cut off my tongue
with a pair of garden shears. It was so bad, it was just flapping on
the floor like a goldfish, I tried to put it back in and it dropped out
again, all I could do was go, 'mmm mmm mmm', I can't even eat ice
cream. She won't stop me gossiping about her though; I'm going to write
it all down and write a book or something. And another thing what about
Susie?