Mementos

Mementos

“Honey, where are those pictures from our trip to Niagara Falls”? called Barry as he searched through the bedroom closet. He had removed everything that was not clothing from the bedroom closet and still had not found what he was looking for. “Did you look in the closet”? yelled his wife Laura from their living room downstairs. “Yes, they're not here”. Laura added “What about under the bed?”. Barry turned his head ‘I hadn’t thought of that’ and started putting the closet contents back “Good thinking. I’ll check, Thanks Hun”. When he was finished restoring the closet it’s previous state of organized clutter, he looked under the bed and discovered several boxes. As he went through the boxes, he noticed one with the word ‘Memories’ written in marker on the end. He opened the box, hopeful that it might contain the pictures from their first vacation as a married couple. Barry reflected on their fourteen years together. It had all been good. Sure there had been the typical ups and downs that any relationship goes through but he still loved her deeply and never even imagined being with anyone else. He smiled to himself as he opened the box. There was a compact photo album and assorted knick knacks and a small stack of letters. As Barry scanned the contents, none of the items was familiar to him. He put on his reading glasses and started flipping through the photo album. There were pictures of Laura in her younger years, some with girlfriends some with young men some of just the young men. He finished looking through the photo album and placed it back in the box, then picked up the bundle of letters and papers. All were from the distant past. All from before they had met. He didn’t read every letter. Barry just glanced at them. There were several poems written to her. Some were corny, come were well written. All made him recall aspects of Laura that he loved deeply. He looked over the other various other items. Keepsakes and mementos from her past. He felt guilty about searching though the items. They apparently meant a lot to her to have kept them after all these years, he contemplated. Barry also felt slightly betrayed that she had held this part of herself so secret. As he placed the lid back on the box, he noticed that there was no dust on it. Everything else he had taken out from under the bed had a layer of dust on it but this box did not.

            Barry checked the next box under the bed and it contained the pictures he was looking for. He took the box of photos to the computer so that he could scan the one picture he had been after. as the picture was being scanned, he thought about Laura’s mementos. There was nothing wrong with her holding those items and memories, nothing he could really justify mentioning it to her. Yet it still bothered him on some very deep level. When the picture was done in the scanner and he had uploaded the file, He closed the box and went to return it to it’s previous place under the bed, he noticed that the box had a layer of dust on it. He tried to ignore the thoughts but they just would not go away.

“Barry, Supper’s ready” Laura called. 

He came to the kitchen grabbed his plate and sat with her at the dining table. They sat in silence. Not a word exchanged until they were done eating.

“Barry, Why are you being so quiet this evening?” Laura questioned. Barry continued to stare off in space “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it” he said. Laura knew there was something on his mind. He was never like this normally. “Are you sure?”. He just nodded, staring at his plate. She let it go for the moment but decided to keep her eye on him.

Barry cleared the table and took care of cleaning the kitchen. As he finished, Laura could not accept his silence “Honey. Something is obviously on your mind. I’m your wife, please talk to me”. Barry hung the dish towel on the oven door handle and took a heavy sigh “It’s really nothing.” Laura crossed the floor and at hugged him “Whatever it is, I can help.” Barry paused a moment before saying anything “When I was looking for that picture, I found your box of keepsakes.” She kept holding him “Did you look inside?” “Yea, I was looking for that picture and I just wondered if it was in there. I wasn’t deliberately snooping. Sorry.” Laura was silent for a moment then in a flat tone stated “That’s stuff that is very special to me. Very personal.” “I know, I’m sorry” Barry answered. They held their embrace for several more minutes before Laura released Barry. She looked up at him “Well, do you have anything to say?” Barry looked at her in confusion “What? I don’t understand. What are you asking?” She gave him an annoyed look “It obviously bothered you. Don’t you want to say something or ask any questions?”

“About the box? No. It’s none of my business what you keep in there.” Barry stated firmly. Laura flashed an angry look “Your damned right it’s not your business. A woman has a right to some privacy.” Barry shook his head “Will you please calm down. I said I was sorry.” Laura glared at him her voice increased in volume “No, I won’t calm down. I feel violated. And the more I think about you moping around after finding the box like you have any business being hurt.” “Hey, will you PLEASE just drop it!” Barry shouted.

Laura stormed out of the kitchen and stomped her way up the stairs. She returned a moment later with the box “Here, let me show you something” She opened the box and pulled the bundle of letters out “These were from Mark. The Man that I was seeing before I met you. I almost married him.” She pulled out a rabbit’s foot keychain “This is from David. He was my boyfriend when I was 14 ” Barry tried to stop her “You don’t need to do this.” “Oh no mister, you wanted to know what was in here.” “NO, I never did, I never asked.” Laura ignored him and continued “Here, this little ceramic hen and rooster were from Matthew. He was my first lover.” Barry held his hand up “Please STOP.” Laura glared at him “Oh no, I’m giving you the full inventory. And then we are going through your little shoebox and examining YOUR past.” Barry looked at her with a frustration in his eyes but no anger. He turned around and went upstairs himself, returning seconds later with the shoebox he had kept in the bedroom closet. “Here. Have fun.” He said in a neutral tone, handing the box to Laura. She opened the box and examined the contents. She pulled out a dozen letters she had written to Barry when they had been apart for a few months early on in their relationship. There was an old west picture of them when they have first been dating. A parking ticket stamped ‘paid’ from their first dinner together. A pair of cigars one with a blue and one with a pink band around them, still in the plastic from when they had the children. There was a stack of pictures she had sent him, Some were partial nudes. A receipt from the wedding tux rental. An old paint brush from when they were trying to renovate the house. A ribbon she had worn in her hair the day they met. The assortment went on and on.

Laura looked up at Barry speechless. “Everything I kept is from the day we met. I threw everything else out the day I proposed. I knew that there would only be you in my life and in my heart from that day on. That’s when my life started” Laura was reeling. She wanted to say so many things at one time but was lost trying to decide what to say first. She stood with her mouth open. Barry quietly put on his jacket and walked out the door. Laura followed him in a stupor, still unable to speak. She watched him close the door behind him. moments later she heard the cart start up and drive off. He hadn’t slammed any doors, he didn’t drive off angrily. Laura managed to finally squeak out his name to the back of the closed door. She started to cry and called out loudly “BARRY!”

Laura felt an overwhelming wave of guilt hit her. The feeling was so intense that she sat down where she was in the entrance hall of their house. She sat there for a long time before composing herself enough to stand up. She grabbed her cellular phone and texted him “Sweetheart. Please come back. I’m so very sorry. I’ve been an absolute bitch about this. Please come home.” She stared at the phone hoping for an immediate answer. The phone was silent. She sat down in the easy chair in the living room and continued to stare at the darkened screen on the phone for quite some time before re texting her plea. She placed the phone between her legs so that she would feel it when he answered. She continued to look through the collection in Barry’s keepsake box. Everything in it was from some life event that they shared. She couldn’t believe some of the items. It made her stomach knot up. Some of the memories brought tears to her eyes. She was mad at herself for getting so upset with him. Laura had no idea why she had even been upset in the first place. She checked the phone to see if he had answered, hoping that she had merely missed his answering. There were no answers. She sat alone in the living room till after midnight. Wondering where he was. She took their two boxes with her to the bedroom. She looked at the contents of her box. She looked at the first few items one at a time and tossed them into the wastebasket as she went. Suddenly the memories in it seemed bitter.  Laura dumped the entire remaining contents too. She longed to hug her husband and try to make up for her earlier behaviour. She tried calling his cellular phone and she heard the familiar chime that he used. “Barry?!” she said with open excitement. Before realizing he phone was resting on his nightstand. She curled up on the bed and started to cry again.

            Barry lay on the hood of his car. He listened to the sound of the waves rolling gently on the sandy shore as he stared at the stars above him. The stars always seemed so peaceful and patient.