Escape From Within

Often I've faced "demons" that have no face. Their screams echo
within me, but their faces are not always evil. See, these "demons"
manifest themselves outwardly....they become "me". I suffer from a
disease of the mind, but its the heart and soul that it infects. I have
Bipolar Disorder, and though I seek not sympathy, I do seek
understanding. That "understanding" I have found with those who love
me....now my goal is to find it within myself. I long to feel at ease
in everyday life....to feel free from the shackles that I myself place
upon my wrists. I have gotten "better", and that within itself can be a
frightening notion. I struggle daily with who I am....I mean who I
really am. I consider myself fortunate to have accomplished what I
have, and now must make the conscious decision to go past that and
accomplish what has seemed impossible. I must break those shackles and
live a life, not exist an existence. I can find solace and help within
those around me, but I take myself with me wherever I go....that is
with whom I must be comfortable with. So now I embark on the greatest
of journeys....an escape from a prison that has no walls or bars, but
harbors the same feeling of inescapability. I pray for strength and
guidance on this journey, but more than that, I pray for the
enlightenment that it will bring. I look forward to it like I have to
Christmas Morning of the past....with an unabashed excitement. I will
continue to write upon this trek, as it frees my innermost thoughts. I
hope for the best, and will accept nothing less. For this trip is not
for me....it is me.