For Instance

 

 

Being addicted to solitude,

 

 

But then wondering why nobody has contacted you,

 

 

Not a single notification, direct message or a missed call,

 

 

“I’ve pressed ‘reject’ 5 times now, don’t they get the
message? I don’t want to talk.”

 

 

Self inflicted rejection, constant abjection; life is one
big fucking deception.

 

 

I don’t know what’s wrong?

 

 

 

 

 

Human and nocturnal, because the peaceful night silence
seems eternal,

 

 

Constantly supply of fucked thoughts in my brain, sleep was
my only escape,

 

 

Now I have lost that, what else are they going to take?

 

 

They say that they will always find you,

 

 

They laugh and they ask me “do we have to remind you?”

 

 

Arguing with them is futile, and when you convince yourself
that they have gone,

 

 

That’s something called ‘denial’.

 

 

So I just carry on, keep going school or keep working,

 

 

As long as everybody else is aware, nothing is hurting,

 

 

“Oh for fucksakes, there’s the neighbour.”

 

 

*Quick change your behaviour, remember we’ve practiced this,
don’t forget the smile- not too big or too eager make it friendly but show them
that you’re in a rush.......that was good, almost convincing, but next time at
least pretend that you’re listening*

 

 

They say I’ve been doing well; they’re going to give me some
distance,

 

 

But they promise they’ll be back, when?

 

 

When everything is perfect, for instance.