The Flower Children & The Great Buffoon

Once upon a time, many Yesterdays ago, a young nobleman entered the magical forest blowing a rams horn and shouting ‘Huloo!’ and, every so often as he rode deeper into the forest, he would stop at a tree and stick a large piece of parchment to it.

At first, Violet, Rose and Lilly, who were picking blackberries nearby, thought nothing of it but, after seeing the nobleman wandering about, blowing his horn and sticking up the odd pieces of parchment for some time they began to get a little curious.

“Good sir”, asked violet, “Why exactly are you riding about blowing that odd horn and shouting Huloo? ”.

The nobleman doffed his feathered, broad brimmed hat in courtesy and replied, “I blow upon this horn, dear lady, to attract the Great Buffoon and I shout Huloo because, I am told, it is the creatures mating cry”.

And then he handed a piece of parchment that he had been about to stick to the trunk of a tree to Violet and, on it, Violet saw a crudely drawn picture of a fabulous beast like a bear with moose antlers, a big ducks bill and hooves upon its feet and, below the picture was printed the words, in large letters, “REWARD of One Hundred Guineas to anyone who finds this animal – The Great Buffoon”.

Violet, who knew almost all of the creatures in the magical forest well, had never seen a Great Buffoon before and was quite sure that there was no such creature living in her forest and told the nobleman as much.

“Oh, but you must be wrong”, said the nobleman, “For my beloved Christabella, a lady with whom I am very much in love, has told me that if I bring her the Great Buffoon that wanders through the magical forest then she will consent to marry me”.

“Poor man”, said Rose to her sister, upon hearing this, “This woman called Christabella has obviously sent this gentleman upon a fool’s errand”.

But Lilly was not convinced by the man’s story, “I’ve little doubt that the creature which he claims to seek is a fictitious one but perhaps he is also spinning us a tale for the moment that he told us his story, I got this terrible loud, screeching noise in my right ear that only happens when I’m being told a terrible lie”.

“Well, if it is a lie then it seems a very odd one”, said Violet, “I can’t think why anyone would make up such a story, especially when it made them look like such a, well, such a great Buffoon”.

Nevertheless, Lilly still wasn’t convinced but they forgot about the strange man and his wild goose chase and, instead, headed back through the forest towards their mushroom shaped house carrying baskets full up with blackberries.

However, as they were nearing their house, they saw a man walking past, leading a fabulous beast upon a leash; a beast that looked like a bear with moose antlers, a big ducks bill and hooves upon its feet; a beast identical to the nobleman’s picture of the Great Buffoon.

“I do not believe it!”, said Violet, “A Great Buffoon in our forest!”.

And Rose and Lilly were both just as amazed as their sister and so, curious to know more, they asked the man how he had found the beast.

“Oh pure luck, I suppose”, said the man, “I saw a poster stuck to a tree that offered a hundred guineas reward for a Great Buffoon, I turned around and, just at that moment, I spotted this creature roaming about and chewing on leaves. Now I’m going to hand it in and claim my reward”.

“Isn’t that amazing”, said Violet to her sisters, “I thought I knew everything about this forest but, in all my life, I’ve never seen that creature before and then, all of a sudden, just as someone comes looking for it, it appears”.

But Lilly was covering up her ears and wincing with discomfort again which usually meant she had just heard a lie.

“If that’s a real Great Buffoon”, she said, “Then so am I. That man was lying to us too. I’m sure of it”.

It was all too puzzling for the three Sisters and so, curious to find out the meaning of it all, they followed the man who was leading the great buffoon through the forest, taking care not to be seen or heard, until they saw the nobleman again and the man and his beast approach him.

But then, to their surprise, the moment that the nobleman saw the man leading the strange creature behind him, he reached inside one of the saddlebags upon his white horse and pulled out a large net which, like an Arabian flying carpet, then flew up into the air and swooped down upon the man and his beast, wrapping itself tightly around them.

Horrified, the three sisters ran to help the man and the strange creature that had been trapped in the net.

“You awful, terrible man”, cried Violet at the nobleman, ”Why would you do such a thing?”.

But then the nobleman showed them another roll of parchment which was different to the ones he had been sticking up on trees and, printed on it were the words, “REWARD, a thousand guineas for the capture of a man and a fabulous shape-changing beast, wanted for murder and robbery”.

“Since there is no such thing as a Great Buffoon, I knew that, if a Great Buffoon really did turn up it would have to be that shape-changer”, said the man on the horse who then revealed himself to be a professional bounty hunter named Merson.

“So there is no Christabella?”, asked Rose, laughing, “You made it all up? What a pity. I thought it was very romantic although very foolish”.

“Oh no, no”, said Merson, “There is a Christabella and very beautiful, she is, too. She’s my wife and I know that, when I bring home that reward of a thousand guineas, both she and my two young children are going to be very happy”.