Mince Pies (Surreal Playlet)
Scene: A bench in the park. Wolf enters from Stage Left; Rabbit from stage right. They both sit down on the bench. Both are men in black suits; black raincoats and hats.
Rabbit: The Suns got his hat on I see.
Wolf: And his old school tie.
Wolf: True. Tell me. Do you know what became of Mr Baloon?
Rabbit: Mr Balloon? He met with Mr Pin and Mr Balloon has gone pop.
Wolf: Good news. And Mr Fish?
Rabbit: Mr Fish got caught by the Foxes but turned out to be a Red Herring so the Foxes had to throw him back in the wishing well.
Wolf: Right (Nodding) And what about Mother Goose? I'd heard she'd been cooked for supper.
Rabbit: Mother Goose was caught by the Farmers Wife but unfortunately she managed to give the Farmers wife the slip.
Wolf: I see. Not good news.
Wolf: I fear we're in for some stormy weather, Brother Rabbit.
Rabbit: I have to agree with you Brother wolf.
Wolf: The Pidgeons have flown the nest and soon there'll be nothing in the pantry for Old Mother Hubbard or her dog Rex.
Rabbit: Theres still goosey, goosey gander.
Wolf: Ah, yes. Goosey, goosey gander. Whither will you wander?
Rabbit: Last I'd heard he'd wandered all the way to Berlin.
Wolf: Please, Brother Rabbit. Let's keep it strictly who knows what. You never know, there may be bats in the basement. There are bats everywhere these days.
Rabbit: Sorry, Brother Wolf.
Wolf: Used to be, a man could tell who the Walrus was but then it all went a bit goo-goo-gajoob.
Rabbit: Yes. You don't know whos little Miss Muffet these days and whos the spider.
Wolf: Exactly. Infact I suspect our friend wee-willie-winkie.
Wolf: Yes. Upstairs, downstairs, in his night gown.
Rabbit: I never would have thought it of wee-willie. I thought he was an old rower.
Wolf: Well, there's a lot of rotten eggs in the hen house these days. Getting so bad sometimes, I have to stand outside just to breathe.
Rabbit: As long as you don't stand too far outside if you know what I mean.
Wolf: Oh you don't have to worry about me. By the square on the hypotenuse and all that stuff.
Rabbit: Good. Just wanted to be sure because theres not enough of our sort left. Its all gone bloody yankee-doodle-dandy. Before you know it we'll all be sailing up the yellow river without a pair of chopsticks.
Wolf: Still, thank goodness for the old pie in the sky, eh?
Rabbit: Yes theres still a man you can trust.
Wolf: (Getting up from the bench) Well. Nice meeting you Mr rabbit.
Rabbit (Getting up aswell and shaking hands with Wolf) You too, Mr Wolf. Maybe we'll meet again some time. Perhaps at the old millers house.
Wolf: While the Jolly old miller's away?
The two men raise their hats courteously and then Rabbit goes off Stage left and Wolf goes off Stage right.