Tips For Lies
At the B A R
Morning; Poko finds the bottle C left under the bar counter. He looks at its content in the light.
Poko, “Some nut filled water! This bottle is open…spoilt…a cocktail mix…” that turns white when water is added.
Manager, “Find out who did it and charge him for the bottle.” He passes by.
In the S H O P
Morning; Ali sits pretending he’s crying. Mr & Mrs Dirk come in.
Shopay, “Guten Tag! Wie gehts!”
Dirk, “Gut Morgen! What happened to the watchman?”
Shopay, “He’s crying. His son needs blood transplant. He lost everything…”
Dirk unfolds twenty dollars, puts into Ali’s pocket, “He’s going to be okay. Good Luck!” They leave.
Ali removes the bill, “Why didn’t you ask for more?”
Shopay sighs, “You shouldn’t collect tips for lies.”
Ali, “There’s no better way.”
On the R E E F
John, with his girlfriend, races the speedboat to the reef, holding hats…engine dies. “Where’s the shortcut, you say, the entrance across the reef?”
Doni, “I’ve shown you!” he stands up to take a look.
John, “I missed it! I can’t see!”
Doni cries, “Over there! There!”
John grips on full throttle, he sees. The speedboat climbs throwing Doni into the sea. John takes the canal and reaches the beach…engine dies.
John, “Where’s the boy?”
Girlfriend, “Thrown overboard…”
John, “There!” he points to the reef.
Doni swims to the island…
At the S T A F F M E S S
Noon; staff take lunch around a table. Shopay reaches his seat and f-a-r-t-s sitting down.
Shopay says, “Sorry!”
Koi, “Hell! Bad smell! You can’t do that here!”
Monica, “Get out! Shopay!”
Lucky, “You go out…”
Manager enters, “What’s going on?”
Monica, “He farts…”
Manager says, “Shopay! You can’t dine with the staff if you do it again.”
Matter settles, silence, plates…
Shopay stirs, “Excuse me!” He gets up with his hand in the butt. All eyes watching. He runs to the door, slowly not to blow a wind. He reaches the door and farts, Pooooh!
Staff cries, “Shit!”
Shopay apologises, “Sorry!” pretending he just couldn’t make it outside.
Manager, “Out, out, out!” Shopay walks out.
B U N G A L O W #33
Midnight; Manager tries the door, knocks and listens…all silent. He sneaks behind the bungalow by the open-air. He climbs over the wall to access the bathroom door open to the room.
Manager whispers, “Fasah!” he steps in.
Fasah sitting in bed switches on the lights – Manager stands there.
Jackie stares – he’s under the blanket with Maya.
Jackie, “What are you doing here climbing over the wall?”
Manager shrugs, “Fasah! You didn’t tell me!”
Fasah, “I didn’t know she fixed Jackie!”
Manager, “Jackie, get out!” he walks out of the bungalow.
Jackie didn’t come out.
At H O M E I S L A N D
Middle of the night; collector (in his home island at his cottage) wearing a sexy piece of bikini bottom poses for his wife who runs away in pretence. He follows her into the house, out of the backdoor, around the garden, back into the bedroom…carrying a specimen pair.
Wife cries, “I dare not look at you!”
Collector, “Come, sweetheart, wear this…”
Wife picks the broom, “You’re wearing exotic things! How naughty you become from seeing those tourists. Rude!” She hits his back.
Collector cries, “Aye!” She beats again. “Ouch!” He grabs her to bed.
Wife laughs, “My sexy husband! Look what you’re wearing!”