She could not part

By Beeme

Sat, 22 Aug 2009
  • 1616 reads
6 comments
 

She could not part with her dream
that one day you would love her,
that one day the stars would shine brighter
and the moon would land in her grasp.

She could not part with her dream
and just listen to the ocean's song,
without wishing you were near her,
across the blue lagoon.

She could not part with her dream
that one day you would love her,
that one day you would hold her
and her hope was most beautiful.

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Comments

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Awwww a very touching poem, Beeme. Is this autobiographical? I think most girls have been there - I know I have, too many times :p I think the repetition works really well and I love: 'that one day the stars would shine brighter and the moon would land in her grasp.' Magic xxx

 

Submitted by Beeme on
Thank again magic, yeah i suppose it is autobiographical :) Glad you enjoyed this one XX

k.

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
...'and her hope was most beautiful.' So is this poem, well done. I tried to read your I.P. 'Behind' but the page won't load; have you taken it out again? Chris xx

Submitted by Beeme on
Thank you so much Chris, glad you enjoyed. It's back up now, I didn't think it was very strong, let me know what you think, thanks again :) Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by Cavalcader on
New Beeme My comment didn't go must forgot press submit. Wow what a cracker! your poem "She could not part." from beginning to end. I can't catch the moon, but I'll keep on dreaming.? this is so romantic beautifully thought out.You know you are good. DO NOT CANCELL ANYTHING Julie xx (:-

Submitted by Beeme on
awww thank you so much Julie, I'm glad you enjoyed this one. I wont cancel anything lol ;) Beeme xx

k.