Something Terrifying Everyday

So … I’m lying in the bath, and I stick one leg in the air and on my knee there’s this big purple mark. I poke it with my finger – doesn’t hurt at all, so it’s not a bruise, and anyway I haven’t fallen over for months – mainly because I haven’t worn high heels lately.

I wonder for a minute, because that’s the nicest part of being in the bath –you have time for that kind of thing. Perhaps it’s a disease! Something obscure – temporarily disabling, but not too serious. Serious enough to get me out of reading next week though. Mentally I compose a regretful email to Tony, explaining how I would really like to come – was all ready to, but…all the walking between stations – impossible now. Maybe next time…

I only said I'd read on the understanding that I didn’t have to. I don’t think he realises that. It was definitely the agreement though. If I’d thought in any way that I’d actually be obliged to, I’d have said no from the start. Simple. I wouldn’t want to let anyone down.

Anyway. I have nothing to read. And I am crap at reading. I’ll open my mouth and nothing will happen! Everyone will be sitting there, trying to look polite, encouraging, and my face will go bright red. Then I’ll try again – still nothing – and then people will start to look embarrassed – maybe someone will look at their watch.

I’m too old to wish the floor would open up underneath me at this point and swallow me up. I’ve wished that so many times and it’s never happened. No. I’m more practical now. Disease. Inclement weather.. snow! How about snow? Perhaps, if I haven’t thought of anything better by the time we get close, it’ll snow? It’s the first time I’ve looked forward to snow for at least a couple of years.

Of course you can’t rule out flu. Everyone’s got it these days. They don’t need to know I went and had a jab for the first time in my life a couple of months ago. And anyway – it’s only eighty per cent effective – I could easily still come down with it. I put my hand on my forehead, in case it’s already started – that would make it easy – I could rattle off an email as soon as I’m dressed - but it’s disappointingly unfeverish – though that doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen – there are still some days left.

There’s this thing people say – that you should do something terrifying everyday, and I’ve never really understood why that’s such a good idea. I’m doing something really nice before, and something really nice afterwards – if I could only think of a way of dodging the middle part, it would all be perfect. I still have a few days to think of something. I’m sure if I put my mind to it…