The Celibate Struggle

The young man walked through the woods. He could hear a bird singing. He was sure he could he could hear some words in its song. The bird seemed to be singing,
“Jesus, my heart belongs, my heart belongs to you, to you alone, to you, to you alone.” Was this the call to celibacy he had heard? Perhaps it was. Perhaps he would make a vow never to get married and to live his life single minded and undividedly devoted to Jesus. The young man always considered himself to be celibate from that time.

A few years later, a young woman moved into his community house, where the Christians lived together. The young man became tortured in his mind and began to struggle with the reality of his celibate decision. He went to see the old wise celibate leader.
“I am really struggling with my vow of celibacy.”
“Why are you struggling, brother?”
“I know a single sister, I know a single sister, I know a single sister, I know a single sister,
She lives in my house, she lives in my house, she lives in my house,
She lives in my house, and she’s in her early thirties.
She lives in my house, she lives in my house, she lives in my house,
She lives in my house, and she’s in her early thirties.”
“When you become celibate, your feelings for women don’t just disappear.”
“My feelings for women haven’t disappeared,” said the young man.

“I sing a song when you’re walking down the street
With those pretty boots upon your feet, Sister.
I sing a song when it’s really cold at night
And you button that winter coat up tight,
And I’m amazed.
I say a prayer when you’re walking through the park,
And I’m afraid cause it’s starting to get dark, Sister.
I say a prayer when there’s something in your ear,
And I’m afraid that it’s something I might fear, Sister.

One thing I’m beginning to know,
I love you like a brother, and I just can’t let it go.
You’re wonderful, Sister,
You’re marvellous, I fancy you,
You’re wonderful, Sister,
You’re marvellous, can’t take my eyes off you.”

One of the other young men spoke and said to the young celibate,
“Are you sure that it wasn’t the cuckoo that you heard singing in the woods? Because the cuckoo tells lies. The cuckoo tells Christians, ‘You should be a missionary, you should be a doctor, you should be a teacher,’ and round and round the cuckoo tree the Christians go, round and round in circles, wasting their lives, never getting anywhere. It’s not the true calling of God if it is only sung by the cuckoo. The cuckoo is not unknown to call people to a life of celibacy. To be a true celibate, you must hear the song of the robin or the dove when you are walking through the woods.”

The young celibate went back to the woods. He heard the bird song again, and was sure he could hear the words, ‘Jesus, my heart belongs, my heart belongs to you, to you alone, to you, to you alone.’ He looked at the bird. It was definitely a robin, with its red breast. There was a dove flying overhead. The dove perched on a branch and it, too, joined in the song. ‘Jesus, my heart belongs, my heart belongs to you, to you alone. To you, to you alone. To you, to you alone.’

The young celibate returned to the old wise celibate.
“What will I do with the single sister I have fallen in love with?” the young celibate asked.
“Yes, you need to ask yourself that question. You need to consider how you would cope.”
“I’ve thought of an answer. I’ll love her like a brother. I’ll love her like no brother has ever loved anyone before.”

“Let me love without owning, let me care without desire,
Let me adore without possessing this Christian woman I admire.
Once a wasp tried to sting her, so I chased it with my hand,
She said, ‘Don’t do that, it’ll sting you,’
I said, ‘The pain I think I’ll stand.’
As she reads to the children, I will listen to her voice,
And say, ‘I’m living for the kingdom, I made a vow, I made a choice.’

Just poured out milk, just drinking chocolate,
My love for you will always be,
Just poured out milk, just drinking chocolate,
I made a vow, celibacy.”