Margaret Thatcher meets Annette Funicello

Annette Funicello, of Beach Blanket Bingo movies and the Mousketeer’s television fame and former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, the “Iron Lady” both passed on to their eternal rewards today, this Monday April 8th of the year of our Lord, 2013.

I can’t think of two more polar opposite personalities and public personas than these two iconic females. I would think the conversation between the two, while waiting g for the final interview with St. Peter, must have been somewhat interesting.

“So Margaret, was the Falklands War really as big a deal as the press made it out to be?” Asked Annette in wide-eyed wonder.

“Oh it wasn’t so bad really, Annette. The British soldiers were wonderfully brave. We just didn’t have as many government men with backbone as we needed. They said I had bigger balls than any of them.”

“Oh Margaret, you are such a card,” giggled Annette.

“And what about you Annette?” asked Margaret. “ Was Frankie Avalon as good as he looked?”

“Nah, he was what they call today a blow-dried wimp.” Gushed Annette. ”We always had to hang with the bad boy under water divers for a good time.”

“Ah” said Margaret, knowingly. “And what about that Mousketeer show? Was that fun for you?”

“Yeah, it was way cool when we were kids.” Answered Annette. “But then when I started developing hooters it all changed. That’s all any of the little perverts ever talked about after a show.”

“Yes, I see,” said Margaret. “Future government leaders all, I bet.”

Then St. Peter looked up from his bookkeeping and gave both of the putative entrants a smile.

“It looks like you both have gotten well acquainted,” Said St. Peter.

“Do either of you have any questions before processing and awarding of your wings?”

Annette smiled brightly and said

” Do they have beaches up here and did Moon-doggy make the cut?”
Peter shook his head and said

” Sadly no, Annette. And the management frowns on wearing mouse parts on your head. Do you think cloud surfing might fill the void for you?”

Peter turned to former Prime Minister Thatcher and asked brightly

“And you, Margaret? Have you any concerns before entering?”

Margaret thought a minute and said

“ I have heard that most of the government ministers who arrived before me live somewhat south of here, except for Winston Churchill. Is that correct?”

St. Peter thought for a second and said

” Yes, it’s true. The management thought that a somewhat warmer climate was more suitable for their character types and appropriate for their life’s rewards.”

Margaret sighed audibly and said,

” Good, then I don’t have to castrate them twice in one lifetime. Now what’s all this silliness about only men running things up here?”
St. Peter could only shake his head and say,

“Maybe you both had better talk to the boss’s Mother. I think she can help you both better than I can. She raised a nice little Jewish boy and taught him that he could walk on water, make wine from water and feed a few thousand people from a few loaves of bread and some fish. I don’t think even you could top that Margaret.”

Both Annette Funicello and Margaret Thatcher entered their new home and the world below was a poorer place without them.
-30-
(541 words)
Monday, April 8, 2013
Joseph Xavier Martin