The West Chapter 4

By ApostolicGirl
- 562 reads
When they arrived home it was dark. All the lanterns were on in the house.
"Maybe they are waiting," asked Jack?
"Maybe," said Allen riding to the barn to put the horses up. When they did they walked up to the house and went inside.
"So what's for supper," asked Allen with a smile?
They all jumped up from the table and gave their father hugs and kisses.
" I am glad y'all are home, " said mother in tears.
"Me to don't worry, it's alright girl, everything is going to be alright," Allen hugging Grace.
They all sat down at the table and finished eating they cleaned up and went to bed it was very late. So they slept. The next morning everybody woke up and was doing there chores. When all of a sudden here came Greg and Ned on horses.
"Where's your father boy," asked Greg?
"Why should I tell you," asked Collin?
"Boy if you don't tell me where your father is i am going to put a bullet in your head, and I will trash your place until I find him,"said Greg.
"I guess your going to have to put a bullet in my head because I am not telling you anything," said Collin.
"ALLEN, COME OUT, OR I'LL PUT A BULLET IN THIS KIDS HEAD," shouted Ned.
"Alright alright I am coming out, Jack you stay inside," said Allen.
Allen came out. Then Jack walked out as well.
"I thought I told you to stay inside," said Allen.
"You did, but i am stubborn like you dad," said Jack.
"Collin go inside to your mother," asked Allen?
Collin went inside and gave his mother a hug.
"What are they going to do," asked Collin looking at his mother?
"I don't know son," said Mother.
"You know what happens to people who escape us," asked Ned?
"They get shot," said Greg getting off their horses.
"Then shoot me and let Jack go," said Allen.
"Father," said Jack.
"Shush," said Allen.
"Alright, sounds fair to us, lets go," said Greg.
Jack went inside the house. Collin ran up to the window and looked out.
"Where are they taking him, we have to stop them, they'll kill him," said Collin franticly.
"Brother wait, they will kill you as we'll," Jack grabbing him by the arm.
"So let them, I don't care, but I am not going to let them kill our father," said Collin.
"Make sure they don't see you," said Jack worried.
"Thanks, I won't let them see me," said Collin.
"Sweetheart, I don't like this one bit, you be very careful, your just a boy," said mother.
"Mom I am not scared, I am going to bring him back, I am a man," said Collin.
So he grabbed his gun and followed there horses footprints.
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Comments
I think the plot is strong
I think the plot is strong and the dialouge is really good.
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You are very ambitious to be
You are very ambitious to be writing a book so young! The dialogue is good but I think there are rather too many characters names we have to deal with. Sometimes it's better to confine yourself to a couple of characters rather than having them all involved at once.
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