Hospice of Horror
By camilla
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Hospice of Horror
He is "unsettled today"
(in spite of sedation including anaesthesia)
meaning he reaches out with his arms
and his legs thrash
he is gasping
snoring
chest sucking in for breath
with long waits between
coughing as he sleeps
my lovely husband who said
"we will get through this love", and
"you are the love of my life", "the best years of my life have been with you",
and a few days ago
"I'll be home at 9".
6 weeks from brain tumour diagnosis to terminal agitation
just 6 weeks
too late for dashes to America for clinical trials
too late for homeopathy in India
And now I cant even "be there" because he wakes up wanting to come home to me
And he cannot
death chains him to that bed in the hospice
without speech or sight or ability to sit
where they never "hasten death" no matter how much loved ones pray they would.
I am coming for you Glioblastoma
I am coming for you
Before I don black for the rest of my life and retire to the Isle of Wight
as friends will expect
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Comments
Hi Camilla.
Hi Camilla.
I have a feeling this would work just as well as a prose piece - there's so much to say. Heartbreaking to read. I hope peacefulness will come very soon.
Thinking of you,
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Not an easy read but a very
Not an easy read but a very powerful one - very raw.
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Must be so tough for you,
Must be so tough for you, tougher for you than for him probably. Those remembered words seem very sweet, very precious things to have even though they make the sudden whirlwind of all this the harder. Rhiannon
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