Too Cold for Snow...
By Silver Spun Sand
Wed, 02 Mar 2016
- 2728 reads
8 comments
Daytimes, she cleaned rich folks’ houses;
evenings, she worked the late shift
at a local hospital laundry.
Wanted her to tuck me in at nights,
not him; didn’t want to play no secret games
go to places, so dark, even with the gas-lamp on
no child should have gone.
Just wanted a bedtime story... wanted moonlight,
glinting on her bangles, to hear them jingle, growing ever fainter
as she crept down them stairs, like in the old days
when my real dad was there...
wanted her to unteach the things he taught me...to unsay
the things he’d said...wanted much more than Vaseline to make
the hurt go away...a pain lingered on –
the more intense.
If only I’d known, then, it was all about
putting clothes on us kids' backs...more coal on the fire
more often than not, though...it was still way too cold –
even for snow.
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Comments
1 User voted this as great feedback
Very affecting. Colloquial
Very affecting. Colloquial tone is effective, child-like lens too.
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1 User voted this as great feedback
Tragic. You've put this under
Tragic. You've put this under 'Love' because love needs more care than clothes and coal. Rhiannon
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Chilling, both title and
Permalink Submitted by Starfish Girl on
Chilling, both title and content. You make the characters 'live' in so few words.
Lindy
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1 User voted this as great feedback
I am always so envious of the
I am always so envious of the way poets such as yourself can create wholly believable characters and situations by the skillful placing of relatively few words, and by the rhythm you create. This was very moving, and that last stanza will stay with me.
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