Speculative Choppers

I would speculate that of all the body parts that Victor Frankenstein had to gather, teeth would provide the least challenge. Couldn't he have gotten a great set of choppers and used those? His creation at some point would learn to smile and noticing (while looking into the pond) how much better his grill looked when grinning, maybe he would have adjusted his self-image a little bit. As Mel Brooks already theorized, the doctor probably would have furnished his creation with a formidable 'endowment' so the dude had a couple good things going for him. Plus he was a quick learner who learned not only how to speak English but also how to speak it cunningly and romantically. So let's put a grin on the dude and imagine alternate possibilities.

After initially freaking out, Victor instead of swooning says "let me see your teeth" and opens the mouth of his less monstrous creation.

"Excellent bridgework" exclaims the great genius as he shows his beauty how to smile and then holds up a mirror.

The monster too is amazed by his beauty and smiles even wider as the grin goes from forced to manipulative to natural.

Victor, overjoyed takes his creation back to the University of Geneva where everyone is astonished and exuberantly supportive as they consider the ramifications of winning the battle of life versus death.

The next day, of course, a few critics came to the surface.

"it's just a goddamn grinning cadaver and the whole thing strikes me as ghoulish" scolded Dr. Jacques LaPlumer. LaPlumer had been working on similar experiments in reanimation but so far had failed to bring back his beloved canine "quelle Page" even after continually mutilating, electrifying and frying the bereaved poodle.

Since Geneva was not his native land, LaPlumer had his supporters who knew nothing about his experiments and thus considered him a prophet.

Frankenstein confidently quelled the uprising "Let's all reserve judgment for six months. I'll bring him back and have him speak for himself."

Under Victor's instruction, the creation learned quickly. Victor explained what a name was and encouraged the creation to come up with his own name.

The creature chose Victoria.

Why the hell not, thought Victor.

So Victoria listened and learned and learned to read and read segments of Goethe mixed with some Shakespeare.

The lessons went so well that Frankenstein was able to return Victoria to Geneva a month ahead of schedule this time wearing a well tailored suit topped off by a bonnet and a veil.

His face was highlighted by exquisitely applied makeup.

Although Victor had objected to the headgear and "face paint" that Victoria insisted upon, he once again figured "what the hell".

Upon Victoria's  premature presentation to an even more appreciative audience than months before, it was LaPlumer again who begged to differ. LaPlumer was horrified not so much by Victoria's physical appearance but rather by the "shit on its face and the goofy hat".

"So, freak, what do you have to say for yourself", shouted LaPlumer. "What kind of 'man' are you"

"I like you" said Victoria "am a piece of work. What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty, in form and moving how express and admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god -- the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals!"

The audience was smitten.

All was forgiven

The human condition leapt forward and sped up the time that it took us to get where we are today