pens and paper- introduction

No one needs TV when you have a constant loop of uncensored traumatic memories going around and around in your head 24/7 to keep you entertained. No one needs sleep when you are well practised in the art of staying awake for days before falling head first into the torturous trap of sleep just before the psychosis kicks in.

 And no one needs friends when you have somewhere to write down all the aspects of your life on endless pages of silky, smooth paper. Want to know the best part about paper though? Paper won’t offer its opinion. It won’t try to find ways to ‘help’ you get out of your unfortunate situation. And most of all: it will not call you at 7 am on a Sunday, offering a heartfelt convocation and muffins just so it can confidently say, ‘I tried to help.’ Or, ‘I was always there for them’, as they wear their ‘friend of the year’ badge at your funeral.  So yeah, I defiantly think the two best inventions were the pen and the paper. Which I presume surprises you, most of my generation would happily be put on a remote island without friends or family as long as it has Wi-Fi and a power outlet. It’s like people are stuck inside their own personal bubble, separating them from the rest of society and the messed-up world we live in. Even though I would give anything to be in my own bubble away from my fucked-up life, I think I need 23-inch-thick glass to keep the world out, not Netflix or YouTube. So anyway, the pen and the paper, possibly the only two things I would be sad to see go in this world.

So, hypothetical reader, I think it is time to tell you how by the time I was 16, my brother was in jail for life. My mum ran off with another man. My dad drank himself to death in the basement. And this one is a` real kicker… I died.