More
By samhennig
- 423 reads
I am a white, middle class man,
I am embarrassed by how little I know. I can
only begin to imagine, then realise
that to sit and theorise
about how it feels to have your face
held to the ground; to have the space
that you think of as home,
a place where you shouldn't feel alone;
and the people who
are supposed to protect you,
be the ones who
instead let you
down, again
and again,
in both everyday
and extreme ways;
and then do it over and over without repercussions;
beating heads to ground; concussion,
swaying and spinning and thinking
‘what do I do?’, is not enough. Do I think I am king?
sitting on my thrown of privilege
letting the world pass me by. Nowhere near the edge
not looking over the precipice.
That is that; this is this.
Not good enough.
Not enough.
Our entire office is white,
I justify this by thinking, ‘it’s just who applied and that’s alright.’
But why? Why are those the only applications?
What is it that we can do to change our reputations?
It is not okay to not be a representation
of the world. We cannot just create our own
and pretend that we are grown.
I am a white, middle class man,
I am embarrassed by how little I know. I can
do more. I must do more. I must call out
those little comments that make me tut but not shout,
why don’t I shout?
Why don’t I shout?
I pretend that it is not my business, but I let it be theirs?
Theirs to say those things. Theirs
to pretend are jokes.
That stokes
a fire that I let burn out,
a privilege I flout
because it’s not about me.
Damn right it’s not about me,
why the fuck would it be?
I am a white, middle class man, see.
It is not enough for me to look the other way,
and say,
‘I don’t see colour’
yet let my colour
get me here.
I fear
spiders, mice, rising house prices.
‘Oh no, what a crisis.’
I am a white, middle class man,
I am embarrassed by how little I know. I can
do more.
I must do more.
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Comments
I found this a very emotional
I found this a very emotional read. It's brilliantly put. Thank you for posting it.
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