Billy was woken up by his mum. He quickly washed and got dressed. His Harvard sweatshirt (it was somewhere in Belgium apparently), long shorts, gigantic trainers and, finally, his favourite baseball cap. He didn't turn it backwards or sideways, because his face already did that job.
After a one minute breakfast of pink pop cereal, he went out to inspect his toys. It probably wasn't the right time for his surf board because he lived fifty miles inland (and he couldn't surf anyway) and the skateboard had lost a wheel the last time he went under a car. So, he pulled out his old faithful BMX bike and set off down the road.
Him and his mates always sat around in the local park, eating crisps, smoking and laughing loudly. His mum and dad were quite generous with his pocket money and he'd once had a part-time job too. Today was a big day, because the United States yo-yo champion was visiting the town.
It was also Billy's birthday, so he'd have be back home by teatime.
And there it was. A great squidgy cake, with thick multicoloured icing and a forest of candles. Twenty-eight to be exact.
"Happy Birthday Billy" said his mum.
"I've been meaning to ask you something, mum"
" Well, I've got lots of pals and lots of things to play with, and plenty of money, but it's as though something's not quite right."
"Don't fret lad" said his dad. "You're going on a fun run tomorrow aren't you?"
The only runs we had, were to the outside toilet. I can't remember how many times I shit myself."
"But what did you do for fun, dad?"
"The same thing, lad".