You asked, we chose

Prime Ministers' Questions has improved so much

since they replaced politics with Sandi Toksvig.

The doorbell rings. It's the trick or treaters

singing Christmas songs. 

'It saves us from coming round twice,'

the tallest of them explains.

'Homework really starts piling up in December.

If you really want to see something terrifying

have a look at my to-do list.'

At the pub quiz all the questions are about divorce.

'In what year did Mike Baldwin and Deidre Barlow

have an affair?' As we all write down '1983'

the quiz master checks his phone for texts.

We remember when all his questions

were about romance. 'What type of street performer

is featured in the opening scene of Casablanca?'

'In Casablanca what colour dress does Ingrid Bergman

wear when she's in Paris with Humphrey Bogarde?'

'In the film Casablanca who says 'Play It Again Sam?'

No-one, no-one said it, the quiz master explained

with a full head of hair, and went on at length

to tell us other facts that have been incorrectly

remembered throughout history.