The Letter not sent

there is a letter that i did not send..

it
consisted of thoughts and emotions filled with sorrow and woe..


i sat awake late one night.. crying..


thinking about my attitude towards life..


i knew that i needed to change the direction i was
heading.. but could not find the will to do so..

i
knew that it had to be hard on you with all my bits of depression.. but
how hard i would never know..

i thought about my
life and what i was going to do.. and realized that i had not a clue..


i came to conclude that i did not deserve your love
and told you to look elsewhere..

i told you to find
a better man to be with because i felt that i was no longer it..


it was the hardest letter i ever had to write..


yet.. i could not send it..

i
could not bring myself to put it in the envelope..


now.. there is no need to send it
anymore..

for you are no longer on this
earth..

it seems that God had a different plan for
you and i..

and so He took you away from
me..

sometimes i get it out and read it
again..

and after i finish.. i sit there and
cry..

then i put it back.. tucked away in the file..
where it will never be sent..


.:.

fin..