I am a dog, I am a cat

I am unwashed my smell lingers in your nose
And if you pick me up that smell is on your clothes

I wash every day
I spread my legs and lick my anus in an unabashed way

I run after the ball thrown I know it's a bloody game
But the instincts inside me fail to hold me back all the same

If the trajectory, speed, and build up, is sufficiently worthwhile
I'll chase the darned flying thing because I know it makes you smile

I will sniff your crotch and nose up your skirt
Because in your musky odours I do revel

I may have a little whiff
Not that I need to mind, just to categorise, one little sniff, oh well

I'll sink my teeth into your fucking neck
Just goad me you fucking bastard

Tickle my tummy too much and I'll hold you with my claws
But cross me mafioso and it's mouse's head time; you WILL be flustered

Sup sexy babe here I come doggy style
In out, in out, in out, in out ahhh it's all over

Bonjour, euh il paraît que je vous ai déjà vu quelque part
Tell me though are you up to date for feline papalova?

I will stay by your side in life and in battle sir
Lead you if you are blind, defend you if you are in danger

I need my food and my loo, that's the basics
Stroke me, under my chin a bit to the left or else I'm a stranger

Programme me
Give me your command master

That's a strange tone your using to me
Whatever are you after?

We will never forget that special bond
That you have forged with us over the millienia

Humans these days have got the emphasis wrong
Less microchips and more altars to the most advanced species. Evar.