No Fixed Abode

'And where do you live?' enquired Badger, scratching his belly vigorously with a hind leg.

'My mum says that if ever I'm asked that question, my reply must be that I am of no fixed abode,' replied Mole, peering through thick spectacles at his new friend.

'Where's no fixed abode?' asked Badger, scratching even harder.

'I'm not exactly sure, but when ever I say it, people usually look a little puzzled and then say, ...Oh!'

'Well in that case I might say that whenever anyone asks me where I live,' said young Badger, with a look of mild ecstasy on his face as he changed legs mid scratch. 'I like it when people look puzzled and then say, ..Oh!'

Mole spent a few seconds giving Badger's words some careful thought.

'So where do you live?' he enquired, innocently.

'I live in a sett, under the old tree by the stream,' said Badger proudly, as his scratching finally came to an end. 'And we've got three front doors and two back doors.'

Mole was a little taken aback by this wealth of information and had to think for a while before continuing any further.

'Why have you got so many doors?' he asked. 'We don't have any doors, we have mounds.'

'My mum says that if ever I'm asked that question, my reply must be, that it's very convenient.'

This information now took young Mole into new territory and he was finding it quite exciting.

'What's very convenient?' he asked with genuine interest.

'I'm not sure,' replied Badger, 'but when I say it to people they usually look a little puzzled and then say,...Oh!'

The two new friends walked on through the woods in comfortable silence, each of them thinking about what the other had said, until Mole couldn't hold on to his thoughts any longer.

'What's a sett?' he suddenly asked.

'It's my home,' replied Badger, delighted to be imparting such important information. 'I'm a badger and badgers live in setts with three front doors and two back doors and you're a mole and you live in a no fixed abode with mounds.'

Badger suddenly stopped and thought very carefully about the words he'd just spoken.

'Just a minute,' he said, with a look of great satisfaction on his face. 'If you don't have any doors on your no fixed abode, how do you get back in when you go home?'

'We just dig back in through any of the mounds,' said Mole triumphantly, 'we invented self closing doors and we call them mounds.'

'What a clever idea,' grinned Badger. 'That means you never have any draughts in your home.'

'Exactly,' said Mole, 'coming home is easy when you live in a no fixed abode.'