Swept Under: Chapter 6: (looking for feedback) 25/04/26
By Sir Loin
- 65 reads
After being embarrassed in front of the whole school and thrown down the stairs, Red was all Musa could see. A stream of blood ran down his shin. The same graze it came from stung as he lifted his knee above Cameron's belly. Just as he decided which spot would hurt the most to stomp on, he was taken off balance.
He fell onto his butt. Trevor stood between him and Cameron. Musa got up and backed off. The red dimmed as Trevor blocked his sight of Cameron.
“Why are you defending him?” he asked, his thoughts stumbling over each other.
“Because you’re attacking him. You’re being unreasonable, Musa.”
“I have my reason. He said-”
“He said nothing! He wrote nothing! He told me himself.”
The red started returning to Musa’s vision.
“Why should I believe him over everyone else?!”
“Because no one else knows what they’re talking about. They’re just repeating what they heard.”
“What they saw!”
“Can you just do it for me? Believe him, for me?”
“This has nothing to do with you. Let it go and let me handle this!” Musa’s voice raised in volume as he was blinded again. All he could see was red as he started inching towards Cameron who was now standing behind Trevor.
“Cameron stood up to the ocean. I was the one drowning. That had nothing to do with him. You’re no scarier than one of those waves.”
Musa tried to step around Trevor. He put his hands on him to push him to the side, but Trevor grabbed his arms and pulled him around, sending him in the other direction. Cameron took a couple of steps back giving them space as Trevor kept blocking Musa and pushing him off course.
Musa had enough. When Trevor went for another shove, Musa slapped one of his hands away, weakening the push. Using the rebound of the slap Musa sent the back of his hand straight into Trevor’s cheek.
Trevor lifted his front knee and pushed his foot into Musa’s stomach. Musa was sent back a step, but sprung forward right away, grabbing the collar of Trevor’s shirt with two hands. After receiving a slap to each side of the face, He threw Trevor to the side, out of his way.
Musa reached out his arm to grab Cameron but was hit from behind on the edge of the shoulder blade sending a shocking ache through his upper back.
He retracted his arm and redirected his focus. Turning around, Musa threw a punch at Trevor but it just missed the top of his head. Trevor ducked down, lunging forward. He hugged Musa’s waist and pushed into him, driving him back. Musa lost his footing, and hit the grass with Trevor’s arms still around him.
Musa pushed against Trevor's shoulder and face. Trevor's grip was too tight. Musa gave up pushing and sent a fist into Trevor’s eye. Trevor's hold instantly came loose as he fell off Musa. Musa rolled onto his stomach, but before he could get back up, Trevor’s arms had already found their way up to his neck.
With Trevor’s weight pressing him down, Musa planted his hands on the ground. He pushed his chest off the ground, and soon after he managed to get onto one knee and then he brought the other to join it.
His face was going blue and he started to feel dizzy. Musa’s vision lagged as he got one knee off the ground and planted his foot under him. He grabbed the underside of Trevor's legs in his elbows and planted his back foot, getting his remaining knee off the ground.
Musa had never felt this strong. The red filter on his vision deepened, and he jumped, flipping so that his back was to the ground. He slammed down. Trevor was crushed between Musa and the hard turf.
Musa stumbled up as soon as Trevor released his grip. He stumbled straight back onto his hands and knees, suppressing the vomit which fought its way up his throat and trying to catch his breath at the same time. Slowly, his stomach settled and the dizziness subsided.
Trevor wasn’t any better. He was clearly winded, taking audible breaths in from his wheezing mouth. Turning onto his side Trevor went into a fetal position, arms to his chest and knees to his belly. Tears pushed through his closed eyelids. And when he finally seemed to have caught his breath, he started sobbing.
“Why couldn’t I?” he said.
The red faded. Musa had never seen Trevor like this, weak. Even after almost dying he stayed strong. Why now?
Musa stumbled back as he was hit hard in the side. He happened to swallow, at the same time, his stomach caught another fist. Musa’s throat felt rough as he coughed uncontrollably. He looked up at Cameron’s face. It expressed an anger he’d not seen before. He can punch like that? Musa’s vision shot red again as he reciprocated Cameron's anger.
He’s why! We’ve both been played. That parasite has been leeching off of Trevor’s conscience, making him weak, all so he could fit in with a group of people he secretly hates.
Cameron stepped towards him and went for another cross but Musa slapped it to the side and went in close, sending a fist into Cameron’s still extended bicep. Right after it connected, he received one on the back of his head from Cameron. Musa was still close enough to catch Cameron's teeth with a forceful jab shoving his head back.
Cameron took a couple of steps back before rushing into Musa again. There’s no way he’s not feeling these hits. He just doesn’t care. Cameron tried to grab Musa but Musa stepped to the side, putting his hands on the back of Cameron’s neck and pushing him through. Cameron turned to face Musa and went for it again.
He was scared before, backing off and hiding behind Trevor. Why is he suddenly facing me head on?
Musa dropped his shoulder to the level of Cameron’s face and met his charge head on. Cameron moved his face out of the way and avoided the shoulder, but Musa moved his elbow in to deliver a blow to his forehead. Even so, Cameron managed to get his arms around Musa’s leg. He must be in the same state that sent him into the raging ocean after Trevor.
Musa's leg was lifted off the ground. He pulled Cameron along as he hopped backwards, maintaining his balance. He hammered his fist on the back of Cameron's neck as Cameron held onto his leg. Cameron released Musa’s leg causing him to lose his balance but was held up by Cameron who grabbed both sides of his open jacket.
Why did he stop my fall?
Musa turned his head to look at the ground behind him. He would’ve fallen on Trevor.
Would a parasite save its host?
Trevor, still scrunched on his side, yelled at Cameron to get away.
Musa traced Cameron as he ran off. The school grounds were eerie. Everyone was already in class so Cameron was the only person in sight. So close to his revenge, Musa ran even faster than Trevor. He caught up to Cameron quickly and grabbed the back of his collar, stopping and pulling it back against Cameron’s throat.
Cameron gagged and stopped. Musa pulled him to the ground and stepped on his shoulder. Musa was not the type to hold back when someone had wronged him. But… without any evidence… Again, the red faded.
“Did you write about me in your note book!” he yelled, sending spit down on Cameron's face.
“No. You’re a good guy. I’ve never… I’ve never had anything bad to say about you.”
Musa took his foot off Cameron's face and walked off without saying another word.
Why did that sound so genuine? Whether Cameron complemented him to get out of danger or not, that compliment came from the heart. And… he faltered. Musa sighed. He didn’t blame Cameron if he had something bad to say about him now. Musa knew he was better than that. He’d let himself go.
As he got up from his seat after the last bell of the day rang, he convinced himself that he’d apologise next week.
- Log in to post comments
Comments
One of the best ways to get feedback on any writing site
is to comment on other's work and leave feedback yourself. Don't worry if you feel you are not a good enough writer to leave feedback, you don't have to be: you just have to be a good enough reader.
The golden rule is to be constructive, polite and - dare I say it - kind.
Good luck with your writing.
"Tread softly because you tread on my dreams". WB Yeats
- Log in to post comments


