My Friends’ Wedding Day (IP)

“It’s all so lovely,” Hannah leans over and whispers in my ear. “Weddings are so beautiful, aren’t they?”

I smile back. I am bored out of my mind. I suppose I should care, as it’s my friends getting married, but why can’t they just skip this crap and go straight to the drinking? Four hours’ driving for this.

Oh god, the vicar is droning on now. And these pews are so uncomfortable. Does god hate cushions or something?

Hannah nudges me and whispers. “Rick, stop yawning. It looks rude.” I wriggle around and manage to rest my head against the back of the seat.

It’s the bit where the vicar asks if anyone knows of any reason why these two should not be joined in blah blah. No one ever says anything; let’s just get through this as quickly as possible.

Oh my god, what’s she doing? Francesca is standing up. “Debbie can’t marry Simon. She’s in love with somebody else.” Christ, Fran, sit the hell down, are you out of your mind? Everyone’s looking at you.

“Debbie is in love with,” Francesca turns and points dramatically, “Rick!”

What the...? Now everyone is looking at me.

“What? What are you talking about? Debbie’s not in love with me.”

“I am, Rick, I am in love with you. I’ve always been in love with you.” Debbie turns to Simon. “I’m sorry, Si. I can’t marry you. I like you as a friend, but Rick is the one I truly love.”

Simon’s face crumples as Debbie turns away from him and walks towards me. “Rick, my darling, I know this is sudden, but please, leave Hannah. Come with me. Look inside yourself, look deep into your heart; you know we are meant to be together.”

I scramble backwards to escape but I bump into Hannah who glares at me. “Rick, what the hell is going on here?”

“Nothing’s going on. I don’t know what’s happening, I don’t know why she’s saying this. Debbie, I don’t love you, I don’t. I’m sorry, I don’t love you. I don’t love you, Debbie, I don’t.”

“Rick!”

“What?”

“Wake up!”

I look up. The church is silent and everyone is staring at me: Debbie, Simon, all the guests. The vicar shakes his head. I look to Hannah. She looks furious. What did I do?

She hisses through gritted teeth. “You fell asleep and you were shouting that you don’t love Debbie, you idiot. I have never been so embarrassed.”

“Oh god, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. Sorry Debbie, Simon. I’m really, just, sorry. Please, carry on.”

I slump down in my seat and hold my head in my hands. The rest of the ceremony passes in a blur and then we’re outside milling around. I have to make amends. I walk up to Debbie.

“I really am so sorry, Debbie. I can’t believe I did that. I just fell asleep, it was such a long drive, and then I had this crazy dream where you stopped the wedding and said you loved me, and it was all just really weird, and basically I can’t apologise enough. I’m sorry for ruining your day.”

Debbie sighs, then holds her arms up and smiles. “Give me a hug, you crazy fool. I forgive you.”

I put my arms round her and hug her in relief. “Oh, thank you, Debbie. You’re such a great friend.”

“You’re a great friend too, Rick,” she whispers in my ear. “And I so wish you were more than just a friend. I love you, I really do.”