Soap Opera Soundtrack

Soap Opera Soundtrack by J.B. Pravda

"No way, you didn't sleep with him did you?"???[cellphone
excerpt]

"Nigger be bad, cuz he mad, this ain't no fad?." [automobile CD
blasting from traffic jam stoplight scene, quadrant 43Z,
Metropol]

"Anything for me?" was the routine query from Watch Commander
Swaine.

"Negatory sir, just the usual SOS crap's all" reported superintendent
of signals.

It had become increasingly arduous to monitor real security threats
with the upspiraling digitalization of the nation, and the world.

"What about the rap crap?" Swaine demanded.

"Impossible to segregate, sir, pardon the expression----just the usual
'black noise', sir" Agent Criddling responded.

"Well, gentlemen, relief is on the way" Swaine smirked as he
chuckled.

"More staffing?" was the hopeful reply from the agents.

"No, not necessary; guys at the lab tell me that they will commence
random jamming tests next month, especially on those goddam gangster
deals" Swaine informed. "Yep, Sammy will soon be able to relieve local
law enforcement and make the streets safer and quieter than
ever."

There was silent anticipation from the usually chatty group around
their consoles.

"Ya see, we cut the deal with the producers: once they start playing
those CDs at a certain volume, triggers the satellite monitors to zap
em----blanks em out! With the increased income take, they'll just beef
up store security, any hassles, they get criminally charged. Everybody
wins" Swaine swooned.

"What about the endless microscopically small talk on the cells?"
agents wondered aloud.

"No sweat, on our cue, the phones will increase microwave radiation to
the host 'brain', pardon the expression; they'll be having headaches
out the ass, docs are all on board---'you'll have to cut down your
cellular phone use, I,m afraid'" concluded Swaine. "Best part is no
cost to the taxpayer, markets cover the cost in short term."

Yes, it had been a good day at Big Ear, very bad for the brain
dead?..apologies to George Orwell, but most people just don't deserve
to be free.