E The Specialist

The Specialist

By Paul Diamond

Jevons was a waiter at the Berkeley and Jevons was famous for it was
universally
acknowledged that no one could pour a glass of champagne with such
savoir fair, no one could serve a portion of fois gras with such aplomb
as Jevons. But, such
are the vagaries of fashion, the Berkeley ceased to be the favoured
hostelry of the
upper crust. Jevons betook himself to the Savoy and at the Savoy he was
welcomed with open arms for they knew that no one could pour champagne
with such savoir fair or serve fois gras with such aplomb as Jevons. At
the Savoy he became even more famous, so famous in fact that when Mr
Rupert Mardoch was to host a dinner party at the hotel he particularly
asked that Jevons should wait at table.

The important social occasion boasted a brilliant company. Lord and
Lady Urcher, Miss Jean Collins, Mr Kalwin Mackenzie, Miss Sara
Simkinson- Palmer were there together with many other literary lights.
Jevons was, of course, pouring champagne with much savoir fair and
serving fois gras with much aplomb when suddenly tragedy intervened. As
the Duchess of Odeon was leaning over to catch some particularly witty
quip from the lips of Lord Urcher one of her bosoms escaped from her
d?colletage and swung pendulous over the wine cups. There was a shocked
silence. Everyone was taken aback; but not Jevons. Quickly he leaped
forward and with a lean firm brown hand he returned the offending
object into its accustomed position. The company leaned back with a
collective sigh of relief and the dinner party was a great
success.

So successful, in fact, that when the last guest had departed the head
waiter at the Savoy sent for Jevons. "Jevons" he said. "Tonight you
were perfect. If ever waiting at table was an art it was tonight. You
moved as if in response to the solemn chords of a Mozart Requiem. In
repose your stance was reminiscent of a canvas by Tintoretto. But
Jevons, one tiny point. Far be it from we of the Savoy to criticise the
methods of the Berkeley compared with whom we are perhaps something of
a nouveau riche, something of a mushroom growth. Nevertheless at the
Savoy when we execute the manoeuvre with which you assisted her Grace
the Duchess this evening we always use a warmed spoon."