High School Reunion

I was at home spending another quite night alone infront of the TV.
Lately, it seems like being a couch potato is all that I can be. I was
in the middle of another episode of Dawson's Creek wondering whether or
not Dawson and Joey would ever get it together when my phone starts to
ring. I looked at the name staring out at me and suddenly a wave swept
over my entire body. It was Sam. When I finally got the nerve to answer
and put on my cool, confident voice which I have now mastered he told
me that the whole gang was going out tonight and they wanted me to
come. By the whole gang he means my high school friends. A huge wave of
insecurity washes over me. I am now in college, very happy, very
confident, moderately popular with great friends but a part of the fat,
ugly, insecure high school girl is still inside me. I don't know if I
can face them. The girls who not so long ago helped make my life very
difficult and my self esteem very low. Disgusted at my own helplessness
and vulnerability, I refused to be a victim and decided to make an
appearance at the Caf? where Sam had told me that they were going. But
before that, I spent 2 hours at the salon cutting and styling my hair
just to help myself feel pretty infront of the people who loved to hate
me. I spend an hour on my make up, another hour choosing my outfit and
when I finally get there I feel pretty and confident. I stride into the
caf? with big, self assured steps. Head high, shoulders back. I spot
them all gathered around a table in the middle and I pause. They're all
there. Laughing happily, chatting, catching up. I can't help but feel
out of place. These people don't like me. They may pretend to now but I
know as well as they do that they never will. I could see them all.
Jasmine, we were best friends until she found out that I had a thing
for her long-term boyfriend, Sam, and he had a thing for me. Sam,
sitting next to her, probably waiting for me I can't help but feel that
the slight awkwardness between them now is because of me. Nancy,
sitting next to her boyfriend, who is being envied by atleast 3 other
guys at the table, basking in the attention. I wish I had someone with
me but I don't, I'm alone. The table is crowded with people, all of
whom I have endless stories about. I force myself to go in. Sam's face
lights up when he sees me and on seeing this Jasmine's face falls a
bit. He is the only one who notices my new hair cut, the only who
compliments me on my looks, and I wonder if he's the only one who is
really glad to see me. Adam who was also my best friend for a long time
walks in with a girl I don't recognize clinging to his arm. He greets
me like a stranger. I look at the girl, she knows nothing about my
history with Adam. I wonder how he'd react if I told her. I decide not
to. I am determined not to do anything that will allow me live up to my
reputation of being a bitch. I smile and socialize. The guys are great,
most of them treat me like, I'm going out on a limb here, a friend. By
the end of the night I feel great. I feel like I stood up to them and
faced my fears. There is still one issue I can't seem to make myself
face until now. What is going on between me and Sam?