Story of my life

Story of my life (Episode One)
It's 10.35 in the morning and I have been up since seven. I don't seem
to have a sense of time anymore. I'm sitting alone in this big house,
three bolts and one lock shuts me in and everyone out. The house makes
creepy noises at night. Pipes creak and floorboards settle, my rabbit,
gerbils and dog making there nocturnal noises. Are dogs and rabbits
nocturnal? I have no idea but when you want to play with them during
the day they don't wanna know. As soon as you decide to drag yourself
to bed wiping sleep out of your eyes then it's play time. You feel bad
that they haven't been out all day, so out they come and you get no
sleep. Or you fall asleep and find the rabbits chewed all the
television and telephone wires. And as you stalk to the shops after
moaning at the rabbit and feeling bad because he's so damn cute, to get
new wires you wonder if its worth it. They cost you money to feed them
and all they do is sleep all day. All I do nowadays is sit out the
computer writing out endless emails and feeling sorry for myself. It's
like I'm unemployed again. I work on Saturdays and since quitting
college after six months there is nothingness to fill my week. Making
me feel like a lazy biatch! I wish I had a full time job and it's not
as if I haven't been looking and applying, I have. That's the beauty of
this computer, look for a job without going out into the cold and
handing out twelve million cv's that no ones going to look at. My back
is beginning to ache but I cannot tear myself away from the screen. I
have been here since seven and now time rattles on. Downloading random
bits o audio to keep me company. Bill Bailey and Human Slaves In An
Insect Nation. Although quite funny, it makes for a sad existence. I
wish I could get paid for being a prat with my randomness. The house is
chilly and my feet are going numb. The song goes on forever. I am so
hungry. There is food in the house but random pieces here and there;
Bread but nothing to make a sandwich with and no cheese for cheese on
toast, Beans; but no chips, and for the love of god there is NO milk.
None what so ever. You don't understand how dependant I am on the
intake of caffeine. It calls to me but I have to resist. Well until the
peace de le resistance arrives. My knight in shining armour, my saviour
comes trotting on his trusty steed with a pint of milk in his hand and
a frozen pizza under his arm. I can't help but play the same song over
again. I discovered it this morning and now I cannot leave it alone.
I've tired of my job search after an hour and a half. How long does it
take a knight to get to the castle to free the damsel in distress.
Distress; I only have two cups of coffee in me. When he arrives it's
going to take me two days to let him in. Due to being deserted in this
big house I had to bolt the door up as tight as I could. Double locked
and everything. I'm sitting bolt upright now, slouching seems to have
improved my posture. Go figure. Congratulations to me- I finally got
the courage to download a different song on the computer (although the
same band). The seat to this chair is hard and uncomfortable, I get
sore butt cheeks if I sit here for too long. Haven't you noticed that
in films and books nobody actually uses the toilet. Fair enough that's
a private affair but I can never use the powder room without first
announcing it to the entire street. Apparently that is not a lady like
thing to do. But I find it is simply the polite thing to do. If you get
up and walk out of the room mid conversation without explaining then
people with find you quite rude. I do however need to go so hold the
fort for a moment???2 minutes later. Honest it doesn't take that long,.
I was just recovering some pillows to cushion my aching back. When I
spoke to my knight this morning he had been playing up. Honest nothing
rude, he wasn't the one on his back. Haven't you notice when you really
want to see someone it takes them 2days to get to you. This is driving
me insane the more caffeine drains slowly out of my body the faster I
type, less caffeine is obviously better for the reflexes. So I've been
addicted to caffeine for ten years now. Ever since I was seven my
parents taught me how to make coffee. Not in case I got thirsty, oh no
my friend. Simply because they're lazy bastards and don't want to make
their own coffee. My parents are divorced now and my mum lives in
Scotland. They have been divorced since I was eleven. As long as my mum
is happy I don't mind. I'm actually going up to see her soon. It's been
a few months. My knight in shining armour has been and gone. Bearing
gifts of a chicken salad sandwich and two pints of milk. Not one, two.
I only asked for a forty pence pint of milk.