Whispers Of The Midnight Longing-Chapter 7

Adrian walked a few steps, then turned around. " By the way, what's
your name? "

" It's Nancy, " I said.

" If you'll allow me, I'll tell you the meaning of your name later on,
Lovely Lady. " Adrian winked and left me wondering.

" Adrian, I need to drive my friend home, but I'll be back in plenty of
time to have that drink you promised and to discover what you know
about my name. "

" Perfect. " He smiled. " Please stay for the first song of this set?
"

" It'll be my pleasure, Adrian. "

I hadn't given a second thought to Mark, but he arrived just as Adrian
made a surprise announcement. " This song is dedicated to my new
friend, Nancy. It's called ' Whispers Of The Midnight Longing. '
"

Yes, you'll listen to the whispering voices
Your Midnight Longing reappears
What you crave are deadly choices
While your heart is bleeding bitter tears

First, your eyes grow red with frenzy
You can't stop what you've begun
Your reality fades, your dreams spin, dizzy
Your Midnight Curse, your Desire will come

Did you really think she loved you
All that's left are desperate, haunting dreams
The whispering voices say,
" You didn't have a clue "
Left in your world, nothing's as it seems

Will you play the Fool for Love again
Invite your lonely Heart and Soul to break
Or turn away, from all Love abstain
Allow your tortured eyes to see
Only colors grey and bleak

As you listen to the screaming voices
You are fast consumed by Midnight Longing
With your New Love
You have made your deadly choices
Is it Celestial Life
Or Eternal Damnation she'll be bringing

Adrian's dedication didn't sit well with Mark. " That phony doesn't
know you the way I do! " Mark downed his drink in one hasty gulp and
grabbed my arm. " Let's get out of here, Nancy. I have to work in the
morning, even if you don't ! "

" I'm sorry, Mark." I didn't want to hurt him.

Desiree' sensed my feelings and took full control. " I had no idea
Adrian was going to do that. " The lying words slipped from my lips
with ease. She motioned Gustav over to our table. " Please be kind
enough to bring the Mercedes around..we're ready to leave. "

" Yes, Miss Nancy, as you wish. " Gustav left the club.

Desiree' questioned me. " Are you sure you can drive Mark home after
the drug takes effect? "

" To be totally honest, Desiree', no. He lives in an area I'm
unfamiliar with and I'm not anxious to get lost in the dark. "

She shrieked with gales of uncontrollable laughter. " My Dear Nancy,
you're already lost in the Dark! "

" My, aren't you the comedienne tonight, Desiree'? " Part of me didn't
want to believe her, but I knew in my soul it was true." We'll drive
Mark to my condo and let him sleep off the mickey. Have you forgotten
how close it is to Blast From The Past? " I was ready to spit nails and
wanted to see her reaction! I had mixed emotions about what Desiree'
had done with the condo's previous owner..at first I felt horrified
that she'd killed a man for no other reason than to obtain his blood,
but had recently changed my point of view. The necessity of his death
in order to preserve her life was the right choice!

" Nancy, it's quite all right for your feelings to clash as long as
you're open to new possibilities. Soon, darkside dominance will replace
the purity of your righteous rigamarole. " She supplied me with a pat
on the back. " You're progressing as you should. Watch and learn..learn
and watch! Whet your appetite for red nectar..Vampire's Delight! "
Desiree' howled with glee as the lights came up for the rerun looping
in my mind!

" Nancy, what's wrong? Did I say or do something to upset you? " Mark
saw Desiree's venomous persona glowing through my eyes, but she held me
back from lashing out at him.

" Save those negative feelings for Adrian..his blood will calm and
soothe the hot desires that flow like a river through your molten
veins. " She tsk'd. " You've begun to purge your ' Miss Goody Two-Shoes
' image.." She rolled her eyes in distaste.." such an atrocity to my
sensitive nature! " I wanted to wrap my hands around her scrawny little
neck! " An idea worth noting, Nancy! " Desiree' cackled.

I gritted my teeth to hold back the scream that tried to escape..
" No, Mark, everything's fine. " His eyes drooped as the knock-out
drops took effect and he laid his head on my lap. I traced the outline
of his jaw, then moved my hands to his neck, applying just enough
pressure to feel his pulse lightly beating as his blood journeyed with
steadied calmness. " Nancy, there's so much we need to discuss. " My
fingers burned red hot with his thoughts and I jerked them away!

Desiree' scolded me. " Being a Vampire comes with time and experience.
You mustn't let an individual's thoughts, emotions, or feelings take
over your mind..as a Vampire, you're able to listen with no
restrictions. Eventually, you'll master this art with no emotional
strings attached..then and only then will Kermes Twa bestow upon you
the exquisite gift of the Empath. "

" I understand, Desiree'. " I felt chastized in a way I hadn't since
living in the orphanage. " What about Adrian? "

" The Great Goddess will supply us with all the information he's not
willing
to disclose. " Desiree's demeanor was one of surety and certainty. "
Kermes Twa inspired him to write the song he dedicated to us. Nancy,
we're his new love..against us he stands no chance! " Desiree's laugh
thrilled me through and through.

Gustav brought the car to a stop in the parking lot of Blast From The
Past. I took Mark's keys from his trouser pocket and opened the door as
quietly as I could, so he wouldn't wake. I slipped into Mark's Datsun
280Z and drove carefully to my condo with Gustav tailing close behind.
Mark was still sleeping soundly as I parked his car in the garage, away
from my neighbor's prying eyes. Gustav carried his limp body to the
couch in my den and I wrote him a short note saying I was going back to
Castle Desiree' to finish out what was left of my vacation with Sher
and Marcus.

Gustav drove like a speed demon from my condo back to Precious Metals.
I leaned over and turned on the radio, searching for..Desiree' stopped
our hand on an obscure station with the call letters WDEV. " Nancy, one
of Adrian's songs is up next. I just love the way he speaks about a '
thret to the innra sanctus '..threat to the inner sanctum. Listen
closely to Adrian's words and you'll understand what he says about our
duplicity. You ask me to
' dirigere eower life..direct your life. " The lyrics and music spoke
volumes to my heart.

Directed Action

' As long as you don't pose a threat
To my inner sanctum
Which the winds of change can never reach
That place
Where all my feelings and emotions live
I'm fine and dandy
All right
All's well that ends well
Once my security has been breached
I usually..always in reality
Back away each and every time
Entice me, tease me, taunt me
Dare me to come to you
See me for what I am
Imperfect, impure
See if I have the courage
The strength, the mettle
I tell myself I lack
Do you have the key to unlock, unleash
The stranglehold
Can you mesmerize and hypnotise
Untwist, uncoil, unwind
Until you set me free
Until I have no guilt, no shame
Until I am the action
To your direction '

The guitar riffs died away and Desiree' gave me no time to let his
words sink in. " Do you recall the way I came to you, did everything
mentioned in the song to you and for you? " She wormed herself a little
deeper into my heart.

" But Desiree'.. "

" Nancy, I'm the key, the only judge and jury to unlock all the
mysteries behind your red door..I've pardoned you of the world's guilt
and shame, releasing the leaded chains wrapped so tightly round
your
soul. " The Great Goddess swayed me like a weeping willow tree in a
stiff March breeze. " It's not permitted to lie to me or to yourself on
this chosen path..falsehoods only lead to unhappiness and confusion.
"

My mind twisted, whirled, and eddied in an unfamiliar pattern. " Nancy,
sit back and relax in the passenger's seat.." I envisioned an enticing
fate with Desiree' holding the reins..slowly fading to black in a
long-awaited return to the Zero Zone comfort I'd lived in before
Desiree' came to live in my heart.

" That's not what Kerme's Twa or I want from you! " Desiree's screams
reverberated into every nook and cranny of my brain. " Never retreat
into your cowering shell..we want, we need, we desire your feelings! As
a Vampire, your vow and pledge is to stay with us..Nancy, if you fade
away, then so do we. " Desiree's tears flowed down my cheeks.

" Forgive me, Desiree'. " She'd changed from the persona who only
wanted my body for herself into someone I couldn't pin down. I wasn't
sure what she had in her mind..or my mind for that matter. " I thought
you wanted complete control forever! "

" Once upon a time, that was my intention, but now we're both
possessions of each other." Her smile enveloped me. " We'll be in
balance soon..two halves of a brand new species that Kermes Twa will
blend into a whole. She says your purity and innocence makes her evil
more powerful, allowing fulfillment for her specific purposes. I hope
you realize you're the first person I won't fully possess? " Desiree'
was quite happy as she revealed this bit of news to me. " I'll start by
telling you about the real me,
before I was changed. "

" Desiree', does this mean you weren't always a Vampire? " I was
astounded.

" No one starts out to be a Vampire. Wee'e the lonely, the weak, the
abused..sought out to become new and improved versions of our former
selves. Accepted and strong, conquerers of life if we can endure what's
placed on our plates. "

A marvelous comprehension spread out into feelings of undeniable joy..
Desiree' had come to fill my empty void of abandonment. She paid no
attention to me. " The Great Goddess will give you visions of my
thoughts, as my emotions overtake your body. In your new life it's
important to feel everything, whether good or bad, except for pity and
sympathy..if allowed to grow, they'll become a festering infection, a
major downfall." She was an expert in her field and her mind shifted
into low gear, slow and cumbersome. " I was terribly shy and lonely as
a child..my parents traveled from one continent to another, leaving me
in the care of nannies and governesses. My trusty friends were my books
and dolls. " She sighed deeply. " I didn't receive love from anyone, so
I ate in order to stifle all my negative feelings..at age fifteen I
lost a great deal of weight and developed womanly curves. " Intense
pain grew in my soul. " Older men noticed and at first I didn't mind
them flirting as I wanted a father figure in my life, but a daughter
figure wasn't a consideration. " Desiree's heartache intensified. "
There was one man in particular who befriended me at a summer dance
held at our home. He told me how grown-up I had become..that I was a
beautiful young lady, and how he wanted to be my 'Special Friend'. We
walked through the flower gardens surrounding our house..I can still
smell the perfume of the roses, the lavender, and the night-blooming
jasmine. He treated me as an equal, always making me feel important and
worthwhile. Events progressed and soon he wanted to do more than talk
and hold my hand. I hadn't been taught how to reject the unwanted
advances of a man, so I let him kiss my lips and touch my body, feeling
guilty and ashamed. Later on I found out he had a wife and children and
even a daughter my own age..that's when I told him I wanted nothing
more to do with him. " Burning hatred replaced the pain I felt. " I
pushed that episode deep into my mind, and in that way I didn't have to
deal with the hurt he inflicted on me. When I turned sixteen, I was
sitting alone in the parlour with a close friend of my father's who was
divorced and twice as old as me. My father stormed in, slapped me, and
called me a whore, no good, not a daughter of his. He added that proper
society deemed me as damaged goods and no upstanding young man would
want to be associated with the likes of me. He banished me to an
allgirls school in Europe for two years. " The rage was replaced by an
iron will of determination. " When I met Marcus in Fredericksburg, I
thought he truly loved me, but he left me just like all the other men
in my life. "

" Desiree', "

She answered the question before I asked it. " The pain's easy to bear
because the revenge I seek outweighs all other emotions! " Desiree'
smiled.